Throwaway account to keep anonymity (I don't want to risk my employer seeing this and having the jump on me), some context (I'll try to keep it somewhat summarised):
I (M22) have decided to quit my software engineering job (which happens to be my first and only job ever) and move overseas to my SO.
I've been working for the same company for over 6 years. During those 6 years, my role changed substantially, but my title or pay was not. I made just above minimum wage in the UK during that entire time (in fact I was actually paid below minimum wage for over a year which after kindly contacting my manager several times, they finally increased my pay to minimum wage and back paid me what was owed). Also, literally no benefits.
Up until Christmas 2020, a 140 hour work week was actually considered a good week. I would be in the office till 2-3am, go home for a few hours, where I'd then get up at 7am to get back into the office for 7:30am. This was forced upon me to the point where the CEO would tell me I need to find ways to cope with the hours (he suggested I go for mini walks around the office…). Christmas 2020 I was hospitalised regarding heart issues caused by all the stress and exhaustion. Not even a week passes by before I'm being dragged back.
Despite my age and lack of experience, I quickly worked my way from a Junior Developer, to CTO role. With the caveat of earning minimum wage, and my title remaining as Junior Developer (I don't actually care about the title, but I just feel like it's just more proof at how little my employer appreciates my effort and loyalty). I started here at 16, and by the age of 19 I was the CTO. Not only was I responsible for the entire tech team, but I was also responsible for day-to-day operations, and on top of all that the lead developer of all our systems. I handled all the exec documents and plans for the shareholders/board, but I wasn't allowed at the table or in the meetings.
Even Junior developers that we hired for me to train were earning more than me. My manager (the CEO) knew this as I brought it up multiple times.
During all of these years, the CEO was verbally abusive to everyone. Effing and jeffing and screaming at everyone, calling them every name under the sun. At times often throw objects at people, walls, slam desks, etc. We just tried to ignore him as everytime we challenged back, it just made it so much worse.
Oh, and my title only changed from “Junior Developer” to “Developer” February last year with no pay rise. I admittedly kicked off about this. Internally, I was CTO, externally I was Developer. The reason the CEO gave me was because it'd look bad for an award-winning hedge fund to have someone so young named as CTO, which I understand, but still makes it such bs for me.
I finally managed to a 2 week holiday and have the money to travel to the US to see my SO who's a nurse so she works incredibly long hours too. We've been dating for a few years now. I want to make this woman as happy as she makes me. I want to support her and protect her like she's done for me for the last several years (we were very close friends that met via an online game long before we got together). She got me through the darkest times of my life, working that long hours messing with you hard. She made me realise that I can have a relationship and a career. As soon as she did that, I realised my true feelings for her (and thankfully I'm so lucky she felt the same way)
Well today I was supposed to fly back to my home country. This morning we decided that I should stay here for longer and look for jobs that can sponsor me so I can stay in the US. Somewhere where I might actually be valued, where I'm provided the opportunity to build my life with the love of my life, and improve my mental health.
I am handing in my notice Monday. My contract has a 3 month notice period so I just want to get it over and done with. I don't really know what to expect, especially if I'm unable to work in the office during my notice period.
It's hard to explain how I'm feeling. I'm really scared about what I'm going to do now but I'm also the happiest I've been in a longtime now that I'm away from the office and with the one person I want to be with. I guess this also ruins my one and only work reference for me to use for any future applications.
It's probably stupid what we're doing and potentially majorly risky since I'm paid minimum wage (and thus have no savings) and my SO is also paid breadcrumbs as a nurse. I have some contacts that I built whilst doing favours for friends of my employer that have expressed interest of working with just me as a freelancer. I've never done freelancing before and I've not really looked into it, but hopefully I can begin to put things into place to support us whilst I look for a job in the US.
But most of all, fuck them. I've worked my ass off to not only prove myself, but I had misplaced loyalty in the company and my employer. Here's to the future ladies and gents