I'm already planning my escape. My first day back I had to work from 1am to 3pm, have today off and then come back to start a new “week” with 3 7a-7p shifts. I do work a lot of OT, it comes with my job, but after spending all that time with my partner and our kids it really gave me some perspective on just how much I miss because of my job.
I started out as an HVAC apprentice at 24. Had my own van, drove all over the state with journeymen. At the time I was seperated from my (now ex) wife and probably 80% of the guys I worked with were on second marriages. They worked a ton, were gone a lot, most of them didn't like their wives and didn't seem too interested in their kids. They made pretty good money but for what? Shortly after I started that job my wife and I decided to try to work things out and I didn't see that job being conducive to that. I left after a year, taking a job at a community college about 50 minutes away as a boiler operator. Unfortunately I had to start on midnights but I was told in 2-3 years a spot on days would open and once I was there I could stay put. I figured I could handle it and took the job (raising my wage from about 15/hr to 24/hr). Things were ok for a while but my marriage never got better and working midnights took its toll on me. My wife never understood just how difficult it was, my partner suddenly quit and management changed my schedule to a 10 on 4 off, all of which contributed to my misery. I was so desperate to leave I started learning front and back end web development and scoured iob boards for something new, even looking out of state (which I never wanted to do). After 3 years I applied for and received an offer for my current job. The drive was another 20 minutes further but I would make significantly more money AND be on day shift permanently.
My wife was a SAHM. It was our choice and it was tough but we struggled through. With the new job came a ton of overtime due to short staffing- I was one of two operators and everyday was a 12hr shift minimum. I worked almost all of my days off (often working 15, 21, even 30+ days in a row). I started the first week of April and by the end of the year was short 100,000k by 64 dollars (I made 55k the year before). The money was great; I paid off almost everything, had a healthy savings account and was investing on top of my retirement. My marriage was terrible so I didn't mind that I was basically home 7 hours a day and sleeping for 6 of them, although I missed my kids. I worked like that for 9 months waiting for new staff, but when the OT stopped it became obvious how bad my life was. I eventually filed for divorce and moved back in with my parents. Fast forward a bit and I met my fiancee, we bought a house and had our first kid together. Life was pretty good until one of our operators quit. We talked a lot about his decision- he was taking a pay cut but the schedule was better, less overtime, and he'd be moving back to a city he really loved. I made a point to tell him to make the move BEFORE he had a wife and kids and a mortgage, otherwise he'd end up stuck like me. Before he left he said I should “listen to your own advice man, no one is as stuck as they think they are”.
He left last October and I worked 7a-7p pretty much every day. I missed a ton of time with my kids, not to mention my fiancee and our families. 12hr work days are more like 15hr days when you factor in my commute. Fortunately we hired someone just before I left on paternity leave but coming back to a bunch of OT really upset me (we all earn our PTO, and we never have issues covering for each other, I'm not mad at my coworkers for taking time off, especially in the summer).
I have a good union job. I work for one of the largest and best employers in my state. I typically make somewhere between 110-120k annually (keep in mind roughly 40% of that goes to my ex wife in child support). But with the drive, the hours, the schedule…I'm not the parent, partner or person I want to be and I'm worried if I don't do something soon all the pain and sacrifice I went through from the divorce won't count for anything.
My fiancee works and has a pretty good income so that helps. This weekend we're going to sit down and crunch numbers and see how much of a paycut we can afford for me to take. I also am finally moving forward with getting certified as a personal trainer, and even if I make 500 or 1000 bucks a month from that it would go a long way towards helping me quit.
I know a lot of you here are way worse off than I am. So many of you have terrible jobs, awful bosses and are not paid what you're worth. Don't get me wrong, trade work is an option and the money is there but at the end of the day, if you want more you work more. Throw in a shitty schedule and a long commute and suddenly it's not as glamorous as some make it out to be. But if anyone wants more info on my particular jobs (HVAC, boiler operator or power plant operator) don't hesitate to reach out.
I struggled for a long time, for various reasons and most of it was due to my own choices. But I “made it” and friends, it can be lonely up here. Don't lose your loved ones, your hobbies, your self for the money unless you have a plan to get out when the time comes.