I can’t find the motivation to do my job. It’s ridiculous I feel this way. I am self employed. I have my own little business just me, myself, and I. Yet, I still hate it. I am trying so hard to be grateful. I can wear whatever I want, listen to my favorite podcasts and music all day, make my own schedule and basically have vast amounts of freedom. The lack of benefits and mindless amounts of administration work tho is overwhelming and my attitude of gratitude went down the shitter months ago. Like fuck I’m basically never off work. I’m organizing my car, talking with clients, doing my own marketing and scheduling, laundering work towels and washing equipment and then the regular day to day job. It never ends. And if I back off on tasks they pile up to an enormous work load. I’m just feeling there really is no happy medium in our fucked capitalist society. Upping rates is like pulling teeth with clients and future clients because they don’t understand what they pay for isn’t take home pay! I’m taxed out the ass and still have to pay for insurance, tools and supplies, car maintenance and mileage. Just damn. Feels better to get it off my chest.