I want to preface this by saying I like my new job and I feel respected (to an extent) and I’m learning a lot, but something that happened recently has been really bothering me.
I work in the Funeral industry which is a conservative industry although times are changing. I have a routine where I will grow my hair out and do crazy styles then shave it all off, I’ve been doing this since I was 17. If it makes a difference I have 4a/4b coily Afro hair.
I asked my boss if I could shave my head and she said no I can cut it short because the clientele is conservative. I don’t care what peoples beliefs are and I try to respect everyone but when it affects me and my body that’s where I draw the line. This made me feel very angry. I understand there’s a certain image I have to upkeep but when I started working there I had a bleach blond mowhawk Afro style ( I want to shave it because I over processed it and now my hair is falling out). I don’t understand how shaving my head will make me less conservative: I wear skirts/dresses, hosiery, and make up to work.
I feel like I’m giving up who I am as a person to fit the look of this place. I had long natural nails that I loved painting and doing designs and I had to cut them and wear clear polish even though I can and have done the work with my nails. Maybe I’m over reacting and being a baby but I just felt anger, sadness, and slight disgust. I already tone my look down so much for work. I also can’t quit because I need this job to graduate as I’m doing my mandatory internship there. I’ve been feeling lost and not like myself lately. I feel like an imposter in my own skin.