So I'll try to condense the background info as much as possible on this but it's a long ass story and a lot of these details may be important.
I also want to preface that I don't have much going on in my life outside of work…both my parents have passed (my dad, whom I was financially dependent on was just 3 years ago), my friends all got “compassion fatigue” one year after his death around the same time my childhood home my father BUILT was foreclosed and I was left homeless. I haven't had a LTR in 7ish years, only have a couple family members left I can speak to and haven't been able to financially participate in the majority of my hobbies that involve socialization. To say I've been socially isolated is an understatement, even preceding the pandemic.
For the last two years I've been in a severely toxic workplace and will finally be moving to a new office (new building, new supervisor, new administrator) but within the same company. I'm excited about the change as it's actually a promotion so I'm getting paid more and will have a better title, my new office is really nice, (has windows, single occupancy bathrooms, cleaned frequently and just in general a newer building), the workload seems way less stressful, the people seem great and they have nothing but good things to say about the supervisor. I beat out several other people in the interview process which really boosted my self esteem, especially since I felt like I bombed.
As you keep reading you'll understand why my confidence was so low.
So far it's vastly different from my previous position…
Besides my old office basically being a windowless cave, built in the 80s and never remodeled, gets mopped maybe once a year and is without exaggeration at least 100 yards from the nearest restroom shared by about 75 people and has 3 stalls (if you are heavier than 150lbs you will only fit in the handicap stall) and most of the day has people gossiping and blocking the stalls/sinks…none of that even compares to the toxic atmosphere of my previous supervisor, lead worker and certain coworkers.
When I say toxic I'm talking about the supervisor has gaslighted (gaslit?) me to the point that I've been obsessively taking notes and (wanting) to record conversations because I genuinely thought I was imagining conversations or couldn't remember conversations she said we'd had before I realized she was just gaslighting me. I legit thought I was having psychosis. Criticizing every little thing I do the point my self worth was rock bottom and would ask permission or guidance on almost every task. She legit chewed me out for not replying to an email within an hour one week, and then again for replying to an email I didn't have the answer to the next week!
She says a lot of offensive things to me and others, whenever my ADHD or accommodation requests are brought up she says “the world will never adjust to you, so you need to adjust to the world.” I'm sorry but say that to a person with a physical disability and you'd be out the fucking door in a heartbeat! Speaking of my ADHD, she basically forced me to disclose my diagnosis and has since proceeded to say and do things that are specifically harmful to my executive fuctioning.
The whole story is too long to add but the TLDR of that story is: I got triggered hard by something the lead worker said, I walked out of the room and went to a bathroom on a different floor that was usually empty to break down. Once I calmed down I came back to the office like nothing happened. I was called into the sups office with the lead, she chewed me out for being so unprofessional (other workers literally will have screaming matches but I can't quietly leave the room?) She kept pushing and pushing, wanting to know why I was upset. Wouldn't let me leave the room while I was full on panic attacking (even lead could see is was not ok) I just kept saying “I'm not ready, I'll tell you when I'm ready” She wouldn't accept that until I finally blurted “IT'S A FUCKING DISABILITY! ” to which her response was that I don't need to yell…the conversation ended with the whole “you need to adjust to the world” bullshit.
A similar situation happened when she confronted me about not doing work quick enough on weekends, I was documenting and tracking that the other person I worked with was not only bullying me but also dividing the work unfairly to the point that I had double or triple the work she was doing. But because I wasn't mentally prepared for that conversation I couldn't express specifically what she'd been doing. She didn't seem to believe I was being bullied only to find out another coworker had previously told her she noticed this person treated me differently and poorly.
Favoritism has been a huge problem, I have seen this first hand because at my first year I was a favorite and got away with murder. She would tell me in advance about any meetings or team emails that would get sent out. She treats her favorite people vastly different than others and always has a scapegoat that is treated the worst…the bully is her new favorite btw and I became her 4th scapegoat. I saw her pretty much make whoever was the “problem” so miserable that they eventually GTFO. Now I'm GTFOing lol.
Which brings me to my departure…so originally I was supposed to move offices at the end of August because my unit is short staffed and they needed coverage until they could train new workers. With 1.5 days notice I was informed that instead I'd start training in the new office W-F and cover weekends in my old position for the rest of August. Okay, fine, whatever. My first day in the new position I had to do some training in the same building as the old office (remember I'm still working there SS until 8/28). Boss texted me asking how I liked the new position while I was training so I decided to just pop in before I walked back to the new building…
ALL OF MY STUFF FROM MY DESK AND DRAWERS HAD BEEN REMOVED AND PUT IN A FUCKING BOX!!!
I'm not even fucking gone yet and they had the audacity to clear out my personal property! Today I found out that the girl that bullies me participated in this eye twitch not only did I find this to be incredibly offensive and an invasion of my personal space but it really felt like they were rubbing in my face that we don't want you here, we don't value or respect you even a little bit, we are thrilled to see you go! Not to mention….y'all know this is gonna fuck with my productivity! Today I couldn't find shit, and got super frustrated every time I reached for something and remembered it wasn't there anymore. But you know, I'll hear shit about it if my work isn't completed fast enough.
So basically the whole reason I'm writing all this is to figure out if I should bother with having a confrontation about all this…I'd really like to get the closure and potentially stop this cycle from continuing with the next scapegoat but I know this can potentially harm my reputation within the organization. If I do say something who would I even go to? She seems tight with her administrator so I feel like he may side with her, and same thing with HR…would they even see the box thing as being inappropriate? And would I be able to prove any of this? (The sate I live in it is illegal to record conversations without express consent so I couldn't use any theoritcal recordings as evidence.) The whole thing has felt like an abusive relationship and idk, maybe standing up for myself finally might actually do some good for my mental health…opinions?
Sorry but I don't even think I can give a TLDR for this post….maybe: old boss sucked, got promoted within the company, do I burn the bridge or just walk away?