I just started working full time and I feel like that’s where all of my energy goes. I’ve had depression for years, but having a career has just made me start to spiral.
Wake up.
Go to office.
Work 8-9 hours.
Come home.
Distract myself until I’m tired.
Weekend blues.
Repeat.
And for what? To be able to retire and have 10 years of freedom before my body starts completely breaking down on me? To live for the weekend? To have a getaway where all I’m thinking about is how far behind I’m getting at work? Why does it have to be like this? I feel like there’s no time to live and when I have free time I just spend it doing nothing because I’m so mentally exhausted from working all day. It has taken my sense of self away and turned me into a part of a machine whose purpose is to beat last quarters profits.
It’s not even like my job is terrible. I’m in the field I’ve wanted to be in for years, I get free company products, the people I work with are great, and the overall environment is very chill. That being said, I’m very grateful for the career I have, but this lifestyle is getting old really fast. This is not how we’re supposed to live.