So this is basically an update to my previous post (TLDR: My managers initially says that they would convert me into a permanent staff but kept backpedaling and shifting the goalposts).
He came to me and told me that the way I asked the manager was too direct and rude. And I was genuinely confused, so I told him how I approached the manager (i.e. “Hi, may I ask when will I be confirmed?”). Because before this, I've been waiting for their reply this whole time, and they never gave me any feedback, which was why I took the initiative to ask the manager.
But the assistant manager insisted that I was being rude, and then as the conversation went on, he made even more absurd accusations, saying that I was entitled, I was not considerate, I lacked empathy, etc. And then he went on and generalize the whole Gen Z saying all Gen Z are always entitled (Funny thing is although I'm somewhere in between millenials and Gen Z, I grew up more closely related to the millenials culture).
I was baffled. How was I entitled when you broke your promises time and time and again about giving me a full-time position? How was I rude when I what I did was ASK the manager and not DEMAND the manager to give me a full-time position? How was I not considerate when I kept tolerating their manipulative tactics of delaying my confirmation?
And yet, I never called him out for all the unfair treatment that he gave me. I only calmly explained that this was a misunderstanding. But the more I explained, the more he grew frustrated, and he even yelled at me. At the end, I had to apologize for all the things he wrongfully accused. And despite the apology, he said I wasn't genuine in my apology and kept on grumbling about how I was rude, entitled, hostile, etc., and that he doesn't feel like offering me a full-time position anymore.
What a world we live in. All the things that I've learned during my counselling session couldn't even be applied in the real world. I was taught in order to have less resentment, I am encouraged to be more assertive and express how I feel without being confrontational and putting down others, which was what I did. I never expressed fully about my emotions, but I did try to explain in the most polite and least aggressive manner. And yet, he never intend to accept my explanation. All he wanted was me to bow down and say, “You're right. It's all my fault. I'm sorry that I feel entitled to a full-time job that you've promised me. I should feel privileged and grateful to be able to work for you for free.”
Sorry for the rant. It's just that I'm so disappointed with how hypocritical this world is and how I feel like a failure to not be able to fit into this society. I'm not trying to seek sympathy when I say this, but I've had depression and been under medication for a long time, and sadly my condition hasn't improved. I feel like as long as I'm still breathing, I'll never get any better.