I hate this world I have had to become an adult in. I graduated college in may 2020 when there were no jobs to be had. I never got to move out of my parents because the jobs I worked only paid $11-13/hour. I had worked my ass off my entire fucking life and sacrificed so much for my education, for it to mean nothing.
I quit my job back in June. I was about to turn 23 and I thought, “I am too old for this shit.”
I thought I was doing the right thing. I am an artist and I felt that if I had more time to myself I would be able to spend more time doing what I loved with the confidence my talent was enough to pay the bills.
But now it’s august and I am at the very end of my savings. I’ve become so stressed that my desire to created is destroyed and I have barely gotten any projects done, definitely not enough income to live off of. I just stress about how all the energy I am putting out is having no (monetary) reward.
Since I have quit, I have put more energy into my friendships. I have done incredible personal development. I signed up to take Calculus, because it’s something I wanted to learn. I get to spend time with my family, because even though they (truly) suck, I have been able to try and repair our relationships.
I do want the things that money can bring, but I don’t want to sacrifice my mental health, my physical health, my ability to travel and experience, and at the very least my time, for someone else’s capitalist venture.
I do want to be a part of society. I want to start volunteering and helping my community. I studied community planning in college with the desire to help restructure everything. I don’t feel like a waste of space… until I remember that the world views me as lazy and entitled. It’s dehumanizing.
TLDR:
I just want to control my own time and space.
The youth are pissed that this is the reality we were handed. Society will fail when you can’t account for the needs of an entire generation with major mental health issues. I just wish end times would come sooner at this point. I’m over it all.