Around Thanksgiving, while having a conversation about home loans and debt to income ratios, a new subordinate in my department let slip their hourly wage. It was pretty infuriating that the rate was one that took me three years to reach, and is only 6% below my current rate. So that means 5 years of knowledge on the specifics of this job role aren't worth much to the company.
Spent all of December strategizing how to ask for a raise, but first needed to decide what my value was. Living in a high COL area, decided that it would require a significant amount more than the company will ever be willing to offer. Even in the off chance they will agree to a 45% increase, decided that I also deserve two weeks vacation a year, AND paid holidays. So, nevermind asking for a raise. It's time to get on a career track and leave jobs behind.
Spent January and February taking full advantage of insurance, with the last dental appointment scheduled for Monday. On Tuesday, the plan is to pull the owner aside and tell him that after reflecting on these details I learned, my expectations of what working should grant me are no longer in line with what can be accomplished working here. It's time to leave this company and focus on a path that is going to more easily provide for the basic comforts in life.
The issue is that in my small department, with two people working under me, one of the workers last day was yesterday. This guy was insanely valuable to the efficiency of my department. And with my departure, 11 years of experience will be walking out the door in the span of just a couple weeks. The remaining new hire has very little experience as to the intricacies of the work. It is going to be a massive blow to the department.
I know this shouldn't make me feel guilty, but it does. Heavily. There are a number of coworker I really like who are going to feel the effects of my decision and probably end up angry with me. It is my hope that with the reasoning I am giving for leaving will ultimately make him realize substantial increases in pay are needed for everyone in there, but not really holding my breath it will happen.
But the bigger concern is that I have no plan. Got enough in savings to get back in school or learn a trade and still pay the bills, but the plan is basically just to hope that something lands in my lap.
I know I can't stay there. I dread waking up every morning to go in. The quality of my work is beginning to suffer with the mentality of “fuck it, it's good enough,” and I hate that I'm allowing my standards to drop in this way. I know I deserve to have a more comfortable living situation outside of this 295sqft studio, and have more space to allow for other interests and hobbies.
But I am still crippled in fear to abandon income for the sake of mental health.