I work( Ed) at a charter school as a math and ela specialist for children with learning disabilities. This is the first year where I was having serious thoughts of jumping in front of train rather than face another day at work.
They just moved us into a new building where they had shoddy, non-union construction teams redo everything and, consequently, make it all worse. The workers were loitering around the parking lots and on several occasions got into fist-fights with staff members. We were going days at a time without electricity.
There is no heat or running water throughout most of the building. If it didn't violate the screenshot rules, I could show you the emails and recordings of administration admitting to all of this and saying we all need to be more flexible. Little kids were regularly peeing themselves because we only had a few functional toliets for a few hours every day. I had to use two sick days this year just because I was on my heavier days for my period and couldn't go without having access to a working bathroom.
Instead of allowing staff to express their frustrations, we were told to be more flexible and remember the power of positivity.
I had been the subject of endless harassment by another employee targeting my race and background. It went so far as to having this employee throwing items at my head and verbally abusing me in front of other teachers. While the other teachers agreed what was happening to me was awful and they were very well aware of it, nobody said or did anything to stop or deter this person. I would get yelled at or called names in the lounge, with other staff present, who would say nothing as my physical characteristics were attacked, and they just watched it happen. As soon as the other person would leave the lounge, they'd chirp in with ” oh, that was terrible to watch. I'm sorry that happened. That wasn't right of them to say those things”…. I wrote so many emails and nothing. Nothing.
My department kept getting landed with more and more work and responsibilities without compensation, and without any considering of whether or not we could take anymore. At one point, I was scheduled to be covering three different rooms at the same time. When I sort of light heartily pointed out to an admin that I couldn't, literally, be in three places at the same time, without even looking up from his phone he said ” yes thank you for your patience and flexibility during these unprecedented times”… Like he didn't even hear what I said. It was such an automatic, emotionless response.
The principal has decided to assert his authority by having his stooge/ new displine dean, go around screaming at the kids saying that talking- talking- is what spreads the virus so they are forbidden from talking to one another during lunch.
Finally push came to shove when I had the paperwork I was doing in the hallway ( because of course I don't have a room or a desk or even a chair) when the teacher who has been abusing me walked up and kicked the paperwork out of my hands and scattering it across the hall in front of a group of students.
Long story short, due to staffing shortage they kept asking me to come back but offered nothing. No investigation of the other teacher, no apologies, nothing. I even have it on tape of them admitting to all of this and being aware. They told me I should learn to self-advocate better and learn to stand up for myself more against the other teacher. I was told that I was the one setting a bad example for the students because I should be modeling good behavior and self-advocate.
I thought about going in and giving the kids I've gotten to work with and seen grow to meet their learning goals a gift, or to collect my stuff and say goodbye… I just emailed and said that I would only be returning to drop off my school- issued monitor and retrieve my items from the office. I don't have the emotional stamina to do anything more right now. I have some interviews lined up and I'm trying to remain hopeful, but I hate that this country punishes people by taking away health insurance if you quit a job, even if that job was killing you. I know it's late in the year, but I really believe if I had gone back or tried to hold on until the end of the year, I would have hurt myself and my mental health would be irreparably damaged. It was at that point.
I really care about my students. I loved being able to be a positive influence in their lives and motivate them to keep trying. This hurts like hell because they're all emailing me asking me why I left them. I can't. I really, really tried my best everyday. I was the first one in the building and one of the last to leave. I hate that my story is not all that uncommon either.
This is a new move for me, to just jump out of a situation this bad ( which was also new for me) but I just couldn't go back with my tail between my legs. I felt like I had to make a stand for myself, my people, and decide to take a terrifying leap of faith. If the most I can really do to make them feel any consequences of their inaction is to remove myself from the situation and make them one more person short staffed, that's what I'm doing. My life has to have some value and I'm human who deserved dignity and I should have been treated with some decency. If they had even just apologized that would have made a difference. I came to them on the brink of a total breakdown and I was treated with contempt.