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Antiwork

Finally landed a first full time position, couldn’t be more anxious

For context, after studying for 5 years and taking a 6 months internship, paying 42k€ for my studies, and struggling to find a full-time position for the past 15 months (after the end of my internship), I've finally landed a position in my field. But in these 15 months I've never felt more anxious than I feel now. The job is in Munich. I'm sure the city and its people are lovely, but it is 900km away from what I've known my whole life, from my few loved ones, and from my family. There's also a lot of administrative paperwork to go through before I can permanently move there. I hoped the pay would make up for it but after taxes I'm only left with 1.9€k/month (12€/h). From my point of view 1.9k€ is ok, but it is less *hourly* than what I made at some part-time jobs. More importantly,…


For context, after studying for 5 years and taking a 6 months internship, paying 42k€ for my studies, and struggling to find a full-time position for the past 15 months (after the end of my internship), I've finally landed a position in my field. But in these 15 months I've never felt more anxious than I feel now.

The job is in Munich. I'm sure the city and its people are lovely, but it is 900km away from what I've known my whole life, from my few loved ones, and from my family. There's also a lot of administrative paperwork to go through before I can permanently move there. I hoped the pay would make up for it but after taxes I'm only left with 1.9€k/month (12€/h). From my point of view 1.9k€ is ok, but it is less *hourly* than what I made at some part-time jobs. More importantly, rent and the cost of living in Munich will leave me with just 300€/month for literally everything else. During the interviews I went with it because I thought I would be paid 200€ more monthly. That's on me, I failed to take into account the 13th month when calculating my monthly wage from the yearly wage.

Now, I have no real idea of how much money I should have at the end of the month. I've never had rent to pay, and I've always lived comfortably enough thanks to my family that I honestly didn't ever look much at my bank balance. But friends have told me 300€ a month is very little to work for in a position warranting 5 years of studies so far away from home, so I'd appreciate some insight.

I guess I just wanted to share how anxious I felt. When I think about how long it'll take me to actually “profit” off my studies at this rate, and how unsure of my future happiness I am, it makes me feel sick. Feels like I wasted my parents' and grandparents' money on my studies too. I've invested time into the machine that I'll never get back. I'm tired of part-time jobs, and crave the validation of full-time employment, so I think I *will* take the job. I still think it's a decent opportunity. I can live off this and potentially go for something better once I'm there, but at the moment I feel sick with anxiety, especially with the move, the paperwork, and everything. Sorry if this isn't the best sub to post this on, didn't know where else this would fit.

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