Long post so sorry in advance.
So I have always been in the mindset of many people on this sub. Maybe taking it a little too far lol. I could even be defined as a slacker at work. I WFH and fuck around most days. But I’m mainly client facing. If my clients are happy I’m good. I’m a customer success manager and make sure my clients know I’m here to help them and I consult for them when needed. But I also do the absolute bare minimum, I just do it pretty well. If an idea comes to mind I pitch it but I don’t TRY to come up with ideas outside of my job description. If clients have problems that are out of my control, it’s not my problem. I inform the appropriate people and forget about it till it’s fixed. Anything out of my control or day to day responsibilities is NOT my problem.
Now my fiancé has the opposite approach. She very much feels like she has to come up with all these ideas or her managers won’t like her. She cares so much if they like her. She doesn’t even really want to get ahead. She refuses to tell people when she’s overworked. She kills herself to meet deadlines. She won’t say no to anyone. She tries to solve things that are not in anyway her problem.
Like I said I’m the opposite. If I’m slammed and someone asks me to do something I politely tell them I can’t. If I’m slammed and can’t meet a deadline I point blank tell my manager it’s not gonna happen in that time frame. If I get saddled with more work than I can do in my working hours I ask them “what do you want me to stop working on so I can focus on this?”
The funny thing is my clients and coworkers seem to love me for it. They love the straight to the point no bullshit and honesty. They end up appreciating it. My fiancé just gets taken advantage of for the opposite behavior.
It’s really impacting her mental health and she is OBSESSING over work. It has given her extreme anxiety and has been overall terrible for her. So I’m trying to find ways to help her change her approach to work. I often make suggestions like what I do in my job but she always says our jobs are different and that her managers expect things of her. But the principle is still the same. She could change her relationship with work and be happier. So I’m looking for some advice that I can then give to her to get her to change her relationship with her job so she can be happier again. Any advice?