This is minor compared to a lot of work issues, but to me it speaks to the toxic work ethic that many of us have been raised in. Years ago I had a boss who was generally reasonable and we got along well. One day she asked me to set up a meeting to “discuss some ideas for x project.” I interpreted this to mean that she had some ideas, but when I got to the meeting I realized she wanted to hear my ideas and I didn’t really have any. It wasn’t a project I was normally working on. I didn’t object to being pulled in, I had just misunderstood and was underprepared and she didn’t like that. Fine. But then she proposed one way to approach it and I said something like “sure, ok.” I was a little rattled – this was a few years ago and I was younger and upset that I was unprepared. Apparently “sure, ok” wasn’t enthusiastic enough so she said “you don’t seem enthusiastic about this?”
Now, I’m not saying I handled any of this great. But at this point, I did get a little irritated. I was young and hard working and did whatever they asked without complaint and normally brought my own ideas to the table as well – and now my agreement to step into something that wasn’t my main area was not enthusiastic enough? I said something like “I’m as enthusiastic as I can be about this project.”
And she did not like that. Anyway, I just ended up saying something like “I’m not as familiar with this project and it doesn’t seem like it’s in my area of expertise but I’m happy to help out and maybe learn something.”
And she sort of calmed down. It wasn’t a huge deal but I think about it several times a year – the way doing a good job, even saying “sure, ok,” isn’t sufficient. Bleh.