I’ve been thinking about leaving my company for a long time now, because I’m doing an unnecessary commute that wasn’t outlined in my offer letter. In addition to that, my manager for whatever reason does not like me. I have known this since the beginning and I can’t quite figure out why because I have put in 100% effort to this job since I started. I love the company, but she is the only roadblock holding me back which is really disappointing.
But aside that fact, this past week, I was blindsided by being placed on a PIP initiated by her after having received no write ups for coaching’s at all whatsoever since I started at the company. The only other thing she outlined during my last review was to improve accuracy. I even got a raise! This just seems completely unwarranted and I know that her sector of the company is struggling financially and that I am being used as a scapegoat. I acknowledged the PIP, and had a Meeting with her yesterday to talk about next steps. I came fully prepared with a detailed outline on how I can improve. She did not even want to hear my next steps and told me she doesn’t have the time. I asked her who I can go two to receive additional coaching and advice/learning and she said that I shouldn’t need that at this point and that is the whole point of this 30 day review. She told me that I need to work on the PIP independently and at this point I either know it or I don’t and that we will meet multiple times a week so I can prove my skill set is improving. She put the meetings back to back so I literally have no time to prep. And in addition to that, I have to maintain my original workload and meet all of those metrics as well which was already causing me a lot of stress because her department is failing, at no fault of my own. She also has called me over 10 times in the past 24 hours nitpicking every single thing that I’m doing. It almost feels like retaliation. I held back tears so many times today because it is literally causing me chest pain, I don’t know how long I can handle this. I can’t quit because I’m not in the financial position to do so. My parents want me to do the best I can so I can keep this job and not have to move back home, but I think at this point I should just start looking for another one correct?
Obviously, I will not quit until I have a back up plan. I’m really trying my best but I’m having some really dark thoughts lately. I don’t know why she hates me so much and she doesn’t seem willing to help me get through the plan at all. I documented my goals today and our touch base so I at least have proof that I did the best I could whenever they fire me so I can collect unemployment. Is there anything else I should be doing in the meantime? I am under so much stress I don’t know how I’m going to be able to get through the next 30 days. I just really hope I can find something in the meantime so I can leave. Just re-signed my year long lease freaking 3 days ago. Any advice is appreciated. No actual suicidal shit but I kind of just want to jump off a cliff right now.