I recently got a job at an organization that I love and support. The work they do is meaningful and is helping the planet. I was over the moon when I got the job, even though it's entry level, because I imagined myself climbing the ranks and getting the job of my dreams within a few years. I'm a romantic.
The reality is I'm working part time because they don't want to offer insurance or full time benefits until I prove myself a reliable worker, which is common in businesses now. I make $14 an hour and can't afford my rent unless I get another part time job. I also live in the southern US, and the cost of living is lower here than most other places. I'm tired of being excited by any and all job offers, only to come to my senses a few days in when I realize for the millionth time that I can't survive in this economy no matter what the job is.
I have no degree because I couldn't afford to get one, and all that's left for me is criminally underpaid and exploited labor positions without any hope of growth. I work with kids half my age, and was trained by an 18 year old who is the lead in the department. I don't mean to speak poorly of the organization, their focus is nature conservation, not people pleasing. I guess I'm just burnt out from trying so hard to will myself to spend all my time just trying to earn enough money to live. This all feels endless.