Back in September I finished two uni degrees, one in 3D Animation and the other in Concept Art. The catch? I never really wanted to study anything, I never ever dreamed of getting a job. At some point my parents found a university related to videogames/animation (they know I love videogames), and at the moment I was forced to check it out, because if I didn't the tensions in the house would get off the charts. Mainly due to the fact that the year prior I didn't do nothing but play videogames.
So I went to uni and studied as hard as I could. I ended up enjoying a lot of it, I did a bunch personal projects where I could share stories that I was passionate about. I loved those bits, I did some animations, cool drawings and concepts. I had crazy good grades I even got a scholarship for academic excellence. Some people and teachers praised some of my projects which made me feel awesome. At some point one script I wrote was nominated to be produced big time inside the school (didn't end up happening because of reasons, but the fact that they liked the story so much was amazing). Even the stuff I didn't like to do I did it very well, it even granted me entry to work in one of the biggest teacher lead projects of the school (I ended up doing a bunch of stuff I didn't enjoy at all, but I write this to show that I can take anything you set me out to do and do it well).
Anyways so here I am, five years later with two uni degrees and a history of scholarship for academic excellence. Now I'm supposed to do some social service thing which is mandatory in my country to validate the degrees… And once again, I'm lost and scared of what's happening next. Doesn't help that once again my parents took into themselves to find a place to do this service because I wasn't looking for one, as I was thinking of skipping it and try to go freelance. Doing comissions and my own art projects online. Most companies don't even ask for the degrees as far as I know, I don't think I need it for what i want to do but my parents have a very strict way of looking at work, so of course they want me to complete it as soon as possible.
I'm supposed to answer to the school sometime next week to confirm if I'm listing to a place already set to do the social service, but I honestly don't want to. I'm just not ready to spend around two more years of my life working for a civil association doing mundane tasks. I know I could perfectly complete it, but I don't have the emotional toll to do it. I know I will feel numb and empty inside. Back when I did some long projects in the school for others (they were basically work) I already felt sad and even suicidal at times, I felt I didn't have control over nothing and my individuality was lost, I just came in, listen, do the mindless work and go to sleep. I don't want to go through the same again…
So I guess my best bet would be to talk to them and try going freelance, problem is that it's been hard to approach them as of late. They'll probably divorce soon and among other problems I just can't find the right moment to express all of this.
Any advice? I'm not against work, but I am scared of the traditional one that numbs your whole existence and makes you feel like a machine more than a human being. Hope I don't annoy anyone with what I wrote.