I'm gonna be honest. The new job I started doesn't seem all that bad. It's chat based contact center. I know I know, contact center, but it's chat-only, y'know? This is mainly a vent and feel free to criticize/remove post as needed.
This is fresh on the heels of a 2 month break after quitting my last job as a hostess as a restaurant. I figure trading 5 11+hour days for 5 8hr days from home would be fine. I'm week 2 of training and already burnt out and over it. Long zoom meetings for training, lots of “We're here to invest in you” speeches, while shoving information down our throats. We get 1 20min break and a 30min lunch (this is in the us). Lots of “be accountable, be back on time, 1 minute late is still late” speeches. Etc.
I -need- a job because as it stands right now, I have $14 in my bank account. My income tax return is delayed and I wont get my first paycheck until next week. However..
On the 2 months that I was off I was never so rested or productive. I went to bed at a reasonable hour, I woke up rested, I worked on my art and was able to float on that for a bit. I just felt -right- y'know? Unfortunately a lot of other factors outside my control kept pushing me to get a job and now I wish I'd been ghosted as I don't want to quit, because even coasting my art wasn't enough.
I can already feel my mental health slipping away as I write this waiting to clock into work in 15mins.
And worse, I feel ungrateful. Like I'm just creating issues because I just don't want to work, but I don't. I just don't want to work, anymore. I want to go back to how life was before and paint. My only option is to stick it out until I can see doctors and see if I quality for disability based on mental health. I do suffer from depression & anxiety, but have always been able to push thru until this passed year. I still just chalked it up to “we're all having a bad year. You can get through it.”
tl;dr: I hate my new job and miss being an unemployed artist barely scraping by on commissions.