Long story, so apologies in advance. To my fellow ADHD/ADD people and those with no attention spans in general.
I wanted to share this story because I’m only just starting to come to terms with what happened in this situation through therapy, it happened in 2020 just a few months before the pandemic kicked into high gear. I lurk frequently and comment occasionally, a common sentiment here is to go where the money is. This was always my mentality until I had this experience.
I left a full time job with a company that was pretty amazing to work for but the salary was less than I was used too,to take a contract offer with a government agency. I started January 2021, the offer was for 3 months initially with possibilities of extensions. I accepted it based on the fact that I am capable and had confidence I would get an extension. It was a pretty decent job, very low stress and no client interactions which was critical in my decision. Training lasted for a couple months alone, but I was picking up the work fast and figuring out many ways to optimize my work load to the point that they asked me if I wanted to move to the morning shift which was 7-3 for additional training on other department areas after a month. I was extremely excited for the opportunity!
The following week, I was to start. Sunday night rolled around I excitedly set my alarm for 5AM (gross tbh) because of the commute distance I wanted to ensure I made it on time. For my alarm, I use the night mode on iPhone. For those unfamiliar, it silences everything after a certain time and then resumes when the alarm goes off. Well, me not being used to waking up this early, I hit the snooze button a few too many times. I noticed the clock and jumped into the shower and rushed out the door.
While I was driving my mom called me, it was extremely early so I assumed it was either an accident or my nephew had woke up and got to her phone and was messing with it and ignored the call. Phone rang again when I got to work which I also ignored as I had to check in with security. After I got through security I checked my phone notifications. While I was sleeping I had over 100 missed calls and my voicemail inbox was full, the phone rang again and this time I answered and it actually was my mom. Her, and police had been blowing up my phone since 1:30AM trying to tell me that my brother had been in a fight and was stabbed. He passed away in the hospital after doctors had spent all night trying to save him.
I was sitting in the lobby at this point shaking uncontrollably, trying to keep myself from unravelling in front of everyone until a co worker who was also in training with me saw me and asked if I was okay. The supervisor came out, basically telling me she couldn’t let me leave and someone had to come pick me up. I lied because I had sat waiting for her to come talk to me about leaving and I had calmed myself down enough to get home on my own.
I was off for about a month total, everything was great and they seemed super understanding until I came back… police quickly determined a charge and caught the guy who stabbed him we had already been in court twice in the month I was off work. I advised them when I returned that there were court dates, lawyers appointments, all kinds of other things coming up as a result. Again, they were understanding, my term ended after being extended for another 2 months and I was recalled 2 months later.
This was when the shit really started to hit the fan. They called me back with nothing to do. I spent every day sitting at my desk staring at a wall for 8 hours. Not really a healthy thing to do normally but the awfulness was compounded by the fact I just was constantly going over scenarios or things I could have done differently to prevent what happened. When I asked for something to do to keep me focused and out of my thoughts, I was given a large grey plastic tub filled with paper clips, elastics, bull dog grips… if it was made to hold things together it was in this box. The supervisor put it on my desk and said sort this stuff. I was completely gobsmacked! So I got to work, and decided that I would use my vacation time and sick time to cut down on my time there since there was nothing to do.
Every absence they were either pre approved, or provided a medical certificate. A month later I was pulled into a meeting with my supervisor who told me that some of the days I was out were unpaid because they exceeded my allowances. I said that this was fine, I either couldn’t be there or had to be elsewhere, and that I couldn’t sit here for 8 hours with no stimulating tasks to keep my focus off of my brothers death. So they put me on top priority to have work assigned.
The work coming in was a slow trickle I was given a box of documents to work with, normally I would have this done in half a day but since there was no sight of more work coming I decided to take my time with it. They didn’t like this either. I was pulled into another meeting to discuss the speed I was working at. I explained I was taking my time because there was nothing else waiting to be completed. The supervisor said I was keeping work from someone else who would do it faster to which I argued speed was irrelevant because there is literally nothing waiting to be done. She didn’t like this either, and brought up the amount of time I missed saying that the manager was starting to view me as unreliable for missing so much time. To which I responded “You realize my brother was murdered just a few months ago right?” She scrambled to respond but the only thing she came up with was there’s no point in having someone on a payroll if they aren’t going to show up. I said why is this a concern when there is nothing to do? It does not seem like a productive use of tax payer money to pay me 45k a year to stare at a wall for 95% of my week.
I was pretty irate at this point and decided to terminate the contract early by explaining the situation to my medical practitioner who placed me on stress leave until the contract was to end. I notified the managers of my last day and on my last day I was presented a document which was a performance review that noted my absences. I told them I wasn’t signing it, because they either approved every absence or were given medical certificates to support them. They went back to HR and removed this information.
I never heard from them again, despite having a glowing performance review. Which now that I’ve had some distance from the situation is ok in my books. From my perspective they were either fishing for reasons to let people go without repercussions from the union and in hindsight I should have filed a grievance but I didn’t because co workers said if I did that I’d never work for them again. But the more likely scenario is the managers were incompetent, and lacking basic empathy for an extraordinary circumstance.
I ended up returning to work for the company I left, but couldn’t remain in the role because at some point between 2019 and when I returned to work there in 2021 I developed either IBS or an IBD. Which didn’t allow
Me to function in the role anymore, they were very supportive and tried to find me a role where I could have more freedom to go to the bathroom if I had too (not that I wasn’t allowed but if your with a client it’s not really an option until you finish with them) I ended up being put off again while they found a new position when they did find one it was a salary cut I couldn’t afford, so I decided to return to school.
My advice to EVERYONE is become extremely familiar with every government program, service, grant, or what have you in your area and figure out how to make the system work for you. Most of the time this requires an agreeable Doctor. Another great skill I’ve learned through this is only telling the people asking questions the bare minimum they need to know.
Lastly any other Canadians who are in similar situations – feel free to DM me, I may not have an answer to extremely technical questions but I’m pretty well versed in EI and tax rules around people with disabilities/students at this point.
There are lots of resources available to Canadians, if you’re dedicated to put the work in to access them!