I (26F) graduated last year from college in Computer Science and Applied Math and got a job at my dream company before I had even graduated. Working my ass off, having four jobs, paying my own way through school… It was all paying off. I did it! One step closer to the *American Dream,* or so I thought.
I'm slowly realizing that this job and any job in my field is going to be monotonous and boring. I picked the safe route of great pay at something I'm pretty decent at instead of something I truly love and I'm starting to regret it. And I feel so guilty about it! I have what so many people want and I don't appreciate it. (There's the capitalist conditioning… ugh) I also have a start-up venture that I'm hustling my way through on the side as an eventual career pivot but I don't feel as passionate about it as I thought and it's just overwhelming me further.
I just want to drop everything and run. I want to live my actual dream of visiting all the National Parks and Forests. I want to do cool shit and enjoy my life. I'm tired of being the responsible daughter, partner, employee… I feel like I worked so hard to get to this point and as a result, didn't enjoy my early adulthood or college experience. I kept my head down and did what everyone told me I needed to do to be happy and now I'm not. I'm burned out, overwhelmed, and angry all the time. I hate the hustle and grind but don't see a way out without everyone around me thinking I've gone crazy.
Did anyone else have a meaning of life crisis at the beginning of their careers? How did you get through it?