These last couple of years have been hard. I graduated with a BFA in 2020. I worked all through college, did an internship, participated in events, even got directly involved with my school (I was on my college's board, I was an RA, I worked in various places all over the school). I have mental health issues (ADHD, Depression, Anxiety), which caused me to slip a bit in my grades my junior/senior year, but I still graduated with a 3.5 gpa. After graduation I lost my health insurance and stopped recieving healthcare. Period.
I was hoping to get hired by my college after graduation. Something in admissions, maybe, or working in the galleries. I applied to multiple full-time jobs there with a resume, cover letter, and multiple great references. They would barely have to train me, I was already basically trained. The response? They wanted somebody with more experience.
I then went on with applying to all kinds of jobs. It was hard being that I graduated right into the hellscape that was the COVID job market. I applied to over 3k jobs over the course of a year. I got four interviews. I did get hired at a place, but quickly found out that kind of work wasn't for me (it was paratransit driving. I like driving, but I have issues with touching people/people touching me, so it didn't work out. The work environment was very toxic as well. The pay was not worth it).
I ended up doing gig-based work to support myself. This included Lyft/Uber/Instacart/shipt/Amazon. It paid my bills, but honestly made my mental health worse. Having to constantly think about work, working weird hours, working on holidays, constantly worrying if I was going to make enough money this week, all for an income that didn't include any kind of benefits really sucked.
My college reached out and hired me back. For fulltime work? No, of course not. I got a part time, contract job. 15 hours per week, $14/hr. I applied to many more full-time jobs there and was rejected for those as well, once again citing experience.
I then got hired for another contract job for them. This was was better ($25hr +reimbursements), but I am lucky to get 5hrs a week working that job.
At this point in my life I have four jobs, none of which give me benefits. The two jobs at my college (probably 30hrs per week there total), plus Uber, plus Amazon package deliveries, plus other gigwork if needed. Total, with the gigwork jobs included, I work around 60hrs per week using my own vehicle, for no healthcare, no retirement, no nothing.
It's soul crushing, honestly. I hate being 25 and being embarrassed to tell people what I do for work. I hate being 25 and not having a career. I hate being 25 and never being able to go to the doctor because I don't have insurance and can't pay out of pocket.
Student loan payments are starting up in May and I honestly feel like I'll never be able to pay them off.
It sucks. This sucks. I want to have a stable schedule. I want to have a job that pays me decently enough that I don't have to check my bank account twice a day. I want to be able to tell people what I do without feeling like a failure.
Because I really do feel like a failure.