I (40F) work in the public sector. My manager (60F) was an insecure, domineering, narcissistic bully who left school at 16. Let’s call her Jo. She is a classic manager who sits in meetings instead of running the service. She has no idea how anything works.
My predecessor (F30, let’s call her Nikki) resigned because Jo constantly bullied her about her weight. I am fat and was (obviously) unaware of this when I joined. Everybody else knew though. Nikki made sure everybody in the organisation knew what Jo was like.
I am a graduate with a media background. Very overqualified for a minimum-wage, public sector job, but I wanted a trade union, some job-security, and to ‘make a difference’ (disabled children in this case). It’s a nice, varied, creative, techie job though.
After four years, my confidence and self-esteem was shredded. I could go a whole week without talking to anyone except my manager. I’d turn up to the office without even brushing my hair. Then lockdown hit, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Without Jo, I managed to rebuild myself.
I returned to the office after lockdown (about two years later). My confidence and self-esteem grew. I bought new clothes and accessories, fixed my hair, and wore good make-up every day. Imagine my joy when Jo announced her retirement a few months later! I threw her a party. It was wonderful.
I wasn’t promoted, but Jo’s manager became my new manager. And the new manager (60F) is an energetic, cheerful, positive, attentive person. She’s very senior and I’ve known her for years. Let’s call her Sarah. My service moved over to Sarah’s team – which is large and friendly. It includes my predecessor, Nikki who now manages five people. We’re friends.
It was hard work, doing the job of two people. And my service was undergoing some big, difficult changes that needed to be managed. It was difficult, but I enjoyed it and was proud of myself. The service for disabled children was better because of me.
So my confidence and self-esteem continued to grow. After six months, the organisation started advertising my old manager’s (Jo’s) job. I’d been doing it well for minimum wage for six months, and I was clearly being groomed for the job by Sarah and other senior management. I got all the new software and hardware I wanted. I was invited to all the important meetings and everyone was SO nice.
Unfortunately, the prospect of a job interview sent my anxiety through the roof. I’m not really an anxious person, but the application took me a week, and I spent another week working on the presentation for the panel interview. I was prescribed diazepam to help with the physical symptoms of the anxiety about the interview. It was basically a 3-week panic attack. I can only attribute it to the trauma of my multiple redundancies and history of failed interviews. Plus I still wasn’t 100% healed from Jo’s bullying.
…But, the preparation and drugs worked, and the interview went great!
Nevertheless, my interview was unsuccessful. BECAUSE MY OLD MANAGER (JO) APPLIED.
Turns out, the whole retirement thing a a LIE. Jo didn’t want to manage the big, difficult changes that the service was going through. So she had gone on a 4-month round-the-world trip instead.
This explains why the organisation waited 6 months to advertise her role. They knew the score and waited til Jo was ready to come back. Sarah’s love-bombing (and giving me false hope) was their way of ensuring I’d keep Jo’s seat warm (and do the difficult stuff) for minimum wage while she was away.
My “pal” Sarah used to chat with me every day. She’s ghosted me since breaking the news about Jo’s return.
Jo will be back in the office in two weeks. My only comfort is that my new colleagues all know that Jo is a massive bully (thanks to me and Nikki). Also, Jo’s contract is only one-year fixed.
I’ve been exploited, manipulated, and humiliated. It damaged my mental health so much that I had to be medicated. People are urging me to apply for other jobs, but how the hell am I supposed to do that after what I’ve just been through? I feel like the organisation has won. I’m trapped.