TW: Suicidal thoughts
I’m so sick of this, I don’t know if this is allowed but I just need to vent.
I was in the military about a year ago. I built confidence in myself and genuinely felt like life was worth living as I was getting out. I was excited for work, getting a real salary, moving out etc.
Now I’m 6 months gone from the army, I got a job at a fast food joint and within months I’m back to wanting to kill myself.
I will never commit, but those intrusive thoughts become unbearable.
I’m now a husk of what I used to be. I’m unmotivated and depressed and all my friends say is “oh but restaurant work is bad but you get used to it, weren’t you in the military?” And I always just get so depressed. Every time I think about the fact that I have 60 more years of this at least makes me just break down.
A better world has to be possible, this can’t be all there is.
Thanks for letting me share.
God I’m so tired.