A few years ago I did some deep reflection on my fear around being fired, I noticed that a majority of my decisions were being made based on the assumption that if I made a mistake I would be fired. It’s shortly after this I realized how deep this went, I wouldn’t take days off, if I did I would feel guilty and panicked. I would apologize or give the major reason why I need to call off. I realized I was okay with being manipulative, I’ve lowered myself to their level, and I was filled with shame.
Being sick and not being able to come into work does not warrant an apology. I’m not doing something nefarious by calling off. If I’m going to get fired, an apology won’t stop that from happening.
If I make a mistake I will apologize for the inconvenience I have caused but even then the manager needs to reflect upon their part. The burden of a companies problems is not my responsibility, I am a cog in this wheel, a team member.
I am saying this because I’m such a people pleaser and live with a lot of fear about employment. This can cause me to lay down and let people walk all over me, and one way I do that is by constantly apologizing or taking responsibility for things that aren’t mine to take responsibility for.
For me it’s all about healthy boundaries. I’m not asking for a vacation, I’m taking my vacation and I won’t apologize for it. If there is an emergency I am leaving, it’s an emergency and management will be understanding or they are failing to do their jobs. I am not to blame because a company wants to trust the way things are done.