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Antiwork

I just completely lost my shit

I think it’s been building up for a while but I just raged in a way I’ve never raged before. Scared the shit out of my wife. I was in my basement well away from everyone and I can’t even remember what set me off first. It was clearly audible because everyone is walking on egg shells now. Part of the fallout resulted in a damaged — no, destroyed — computer monitor; it’s like 6 years old and refurbished in the first place but it isn’t mine, it’s my companies. I’ve been interviewing for weeks now, mind is completely fucking pancake batter from coding in one language all day for my job and interviewing in another because I just about can’t stand writing C# and I need to get back to iOS and/or Android work. Additionally, the industry I’m in has sucked the life out of me. I accepted an…


I think it’s been building up for a while but I just raged in a way I’ve never raged before. Scared the shit out of my wife. I was in my basement well away from everyone and I can’t even remember what set me off first. It was clearly audible because everyone is walking on egg shells now. Part of the fallout resulted in a damaged — no, destroyed — computer monitor; it’s like 6 years old and refurbished in the first place but it isn’t mine, it’s my companies.

I’ve been interviewing for weeks now, mind is completely fucking pancake batter from coding in one language all day for my job and interviewing in another because I just about can’t stand writing C# and I need to get back to iOS and/or Android work. Additionally, the industry I’m in has sucked the life out of me.

I accepted an offer because well… it’s a fucking 76% raise and the type of work I want. I was holding out for another company but my inability to create a linked list and LRU cache while the interviewer constantly interrupted my thought process and the other interviewer decided to introduce himself at 20 minutes past the scheduled end of the interview; hell even the other interviewer thought he left the call and it was just us two chatting.

Now these fucks that I accepted a job with have TWO… TWO fucking onboarding processes. I have to background check and piss test for them and all over again for their client. Only I can’t do the tests at the same place. No, I have to drive an hour in one direction for one test and 1.75hrs in another direction for another test. 5.5 total hours of driving THEN I’ll have to get my biometrics scanned, don’t even know where that will be done at because I have to do these first.

I quit smoking herb in an amount of time that is typically reliable for me… not to mention that it’s legal where I live and no one would give a damn if I rolled in to the testing facility with a 1.8 BAC (alcohol, more than twice the legal driving limit for those who don’t know) as long as I could fill the cup and didn’t get arrested on the way there. But my at home THC test showed positive today; fuck.

I’m so fucking done with all of this shit. I’d tell this company to cram it up their ass but if I deal with a single other smug recruiter or interviewer, we’ll let’s just say I won’t get the job because I won’t tolerate another stupid ass question or useless coding exercise.

I recently told the director of QA at Kroger that he’s an idiot and wished him luck finding an engineer that could — or would — code in notepad. He was a pompis prick anyway so my mind was made before he even sent me the challenge link… another fucking linked list exercise. Yea, I get it, it’s a fundamental CS principal; it’s also part of the standard library (or not far from it) in every language I use and if some dev at my current job submitted a PR with their own implementation I’d reject it until they could justify it and it better damn well be unit tested like nothing we’ve seen before.

Idk what to do. If I quit, liquidate assets, and leverage credit where possible, I MIGHT make it to mid-April. If I stay, March seems like a stretch for my mental well-being — as if I’m doing well today. Fucking done.

Suggestions? Therapy because I have time for that, I’m sure? Journaling? Things my wife has suggested.

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