My father died in April. I have been struggling as it was very traumatic for me. I am on reduced work hours so I work 4 days instead of 5 to prevent emotional burnout.
Thing is, I am trying to follow advice of my therapist and do things like set boundaries to preserve myself but there are no boundaries. I feel I have fallen into an unhealthy dynamic with my manager. Her daughter passed away a few years ago and would have been around my age. I feel she has a bit of an unhealthy attachment to the people at our work and uses us as if we are an audience to the constant show that is her life. I cannot get any work done and am never allowed to focus on what I'm doing. My job is to pay constant attention to her as she narrates every single thing she does with her day. She also has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and I feel awful for her and many many days I give her the time and attention she is wanting and I show warmth, but I cannot be there to listen to her everyday happenings ALL THE TIME.
I do basically no work but am constantly told I'm valuable and in a way, this is kind of driving me insane as I feel I have completely lost touch with professional expectations at this point. I am not sure what I do that is so valuable, but I also feel that I am just sort of being sucked into her and I don't feel like I belong to myself at work. She doesn't really let me talk to other people and always stands there staring at us whenever I talk to another person and she hates not being the center of attention or not included in every conversation. I have been overwhelmed to the point where I want to cry.
I have also done nice things and they get taken way too far and I feel uncomfortable. I brought her a gingerale for her stomach as she was nauseous, and she has been leaving notes on my desk about it and lastly, I am NOT a touchy person and she has started hugging me and lying her head on me which makes me really uncomfortable.
I am going out of my mind.