A little bit of context.
I worked for this family owned company for three years. I liked my job, I liked my coworkers and even though the days could be stressful I always got a sense of fulfillment from it so didn't mind.
I put the effort in, working as many hours as I could, often doing unpaid work from home if there was something I wanted to build on but didn't have enough hours during the work day.
I thought of myself as a decent employee, I got on with all our clients and had good relationships with the directors. I wanted to succeed and I wanted the business to do well and I was driven to make improvements. I was given a management role within 6 months of working for them.
I had a baby and planned for a years maternity leave. I ended up working during maternity leave on a big onboarding project for around 3 months. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement at the time, I needed more money as I wasn't going to be paid for the last three months of maternity and the project would have struggled without my input.
I get news that the office staff were starting to really struggle so I arranged to finish my maternity leave earlier and come back to work. Part time at first because I couldn't arrange the childcare at short notice.
As soon as I return from maternity leave, I realise that the company is struggling and things were going to shit. Cash flow issues are causing massive problems as we only really had one major client and they were having money issues so we were owed hundreds of thousands of pounds.
The directors were open in saying that it looked sketchy as to whether they could afford wages. This went on for months.
I started looking for work elsewhere, I have four young children and bills to pay. The thought of no getting paid gave me sleepless nights.
I was offered three jobs, but turned them all down as cash flow suddenly improved and I told myself to keep working and be loyal to the company.
I spoke directly to the directors about this and they were happy I told them, they weren't surprised if anyone decided to leave with the way things were. I used this time to discuss a wage rise as the other jobs I had been offered were for a substantial amount more money. They agreed, on the proviso that I understood it wouldn't be alot at this time due to the financial issues that had been going on. I understood and accepted what they offered.
A few more weeks later and it gets to rock bottom. We have to put a large majority of the work we were doing on stop due to no payment. I'm back to sleepless nights. The directors leave for two weeks on holiday, leaving me to deal with everything that was going on. No one had been informed that I was the most senior person there so the staff just went rogue. The worst being the directors teenage son. It was an extremely stressful two weeks. On the return of the directors, all the work I'd put in with staff was belittled and I was made to feel worthless.
I get a random call from a recruiter and within a few days I've had an interview and been offered a new job which I accepted. The company is a lot bigger, long standing and came with a slightly higher wage, more holidays and a flexible working option. I was both excited and horrified, I really couldn't believe I would be moving on from a job I saw myself staying in forever.
I knew that nothing could be done to change my mind, so I prepared my months notice and arrange a meeting with the directors. I broke down in tears as I told them, apologising over and over. I was met with a stony silence, then told I had pissed them off and that they were shocked I would do this.
I then endured weeks of being ignored. I was heartbroken. I was asked to write up a job advert for my replacement which I did, then it was declined because they weren't going to replace me as they felt they didn't need a manager. Which is funny, when I spent hours in her office on my return listening to her bitch and moan about the other office staff and how she was ready to sack them so she was glad I was back to manage them back into shape.
I was then given the option of early release which, after to speaking to my new employer and confirming they would have me early, I accepted.
Fast forward three weeks, I realise that I hadn't had my P45 yet so I text my old boss asking for it.
Two days later I get it in the post, along with a typed up piece of hate mail, a whole A4 sheet long.
She said she needed to get these things off her chest to make her feel better.
To sum it up, the letter consisted of how the business is now better that I've gone and no one liked me. That I took advantage of her good nature and I was a deceitful liar. She went into real detail of how I had used them and she was glad I was gone. She ended the letter with a smiley face emoji.
Three years of hard work, completely forgotten about because my hand was forced due to the company sinking.
Thing is, naïvely I thought I could build a bridge and become friends again, and literally the afternoon before I received that letter I almost called in to see them with cake but got stuck in traffic and had to head straight home. How stupid I would have felt if I had done that.
I cried for about two hours and have felt numb ever since.