Not a concrete question or seek for help here. I just wanted to express my exhaustion from working all by myself. I like my topic but I am slowly losing interest because I am the only one working on this project. And the worst thing is, my department relies on my results. This is my first job and I didn't think it would be this quick. After just a year I am slowly getting into a burnout.
I have a very good sense for when I am going into a burnout. I'd say I had one in the past and I used to have minor ones. Usually my heart makes weird things, skips a lot of beats (so-called PACs) and I feel dizzy, exhausted and short of breath. In the past I was unable to work due to this. Months of panic attacks and slow recovery.
I am feeling that I am slowly getting into this stage again. Only remedy I know is exercise and distraction. But I am feeling so physically ill right now that additionally to work exercise might just hurt me more.
9-5 jobs kill me in the long run. Lack of friendly communication kills me in the long run. Monotony kills me in the long run. This job seriousness makes me depressed. I don't have any free-time given that I work all day long. Nobody at my job is having fun. Everybody is overworked and stressed out. Sure, we crack some jokes at times and my colleagues struggle with me but that's just making the best out of it and not really enjoying life. If this keeps ongoing my heart will not be able to cope with the stress anymore.