So I've been working since I was 17, I'm 22 now and I straight up cannot handle this anymore, I'm depressed, my anxiety is back, my adhd is worse than ever and I just want to rest, I've been supporting my family for years because my father had an accident, my mother is home on mental health issues (which are similar to mine) and I'm in utter despair, I find myself acting like a kid not wanting to school. I'll be curled up in bed thinking “I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.”
At first I thought it was just the jobs I was doing, retail during the highest points of the pandemic, warehousing after that… I'm artistic, I like editing and drawing so I found a job editing, a small business, I'm the social media manager (really only in title, I have basically no bloody work to do anyway) and I edit tiktoks for them and such. Great right? I mean I have a job doing something I enjoy and you know what the say “if you love your work you'll never work a day in your life”
Well no. I actually dread getting out of bed to come here. This Monday I woke up and couldn't walk, at all, I couldn't put my foot down, so until today, when I started walking properly again I hadn't gone to work, last night I was wishing I wouldn't be able to walk, I was wishing for pain so bad I wouldn't walk just so I didn't have to go to work.
I'm 22, I don't want my life to be this. I have so much stuff I want AND CAN do but I can't focus on any of it because I'm ALWAYS thinking about work, about the next paycheck that's gonna instantly disappear because my family is still in so much debt.
I hate every job, because anything to me that is seen as a job is something I despise, I want to do things because I want to do them not because I need to. Fuck work. Fuck working. Fuck this way of life.
EDIT: I was 17 when I started working but it was kinda like a summer job, like once every 2 weeks on a weekend so yeah it wasn't that impactful to me