Two years ago, I would've been doing the same thing I'm doing now. That is, batching on reddit about how my life isn't fair. I was living at home with my parents, no girlfriend, no job, no healthy lifestyle of any kind, and wasted my days playing videogames.
Fast forward to today, my life looks a lot different. I became so tired of hearing about how my depression and loneliness was due to my lack of contribution to society. I was tired of hearing that I needed to get out more. So, I decided to participate, play the capitalistic game that everyone seems to enjoy so much.
Here's what I managed to do in a year and four months, with my own ability, no handouts, no support:
- A fiance
- Went from pharmacy tech at CVS to Chief Marketing Officer for a digital marketing agency (with side hustle as a professor) making well over 6 figures. Well. Over.
- Got medicated for my mental illness
- Starting eating healthy and taking care of myself, became a weight lifter
- Won $10k at the casino for a work trip, then a free car (yes seriously and only $600 in taxes because my grandma let me enter in her name
- Starting writing creatively again because that's my passion inside, I thought.
- Stopped playing video games
- Started seeing a therapist
- Started reading a book a month and acquired 5 professional certifications in record time
- Pushed myself out of my bubble and went places with my fiance that I'd never go on my own
- Spent more meaningful time with family
- Overall got a new life, a new house, and new focus
Guess what? It changed nothing. If anything I feel more dead inside. I did literally everything a person can do in a year and four months. I'm intelligent. Good looking. And honestly wicked lucky. But I'm also a hard worker and caring person. I managed to accomplish 30 years of struggle in no time. It's no different at the top.
So I quit.
Yeah that's right. I quit my big time CMO job and left all that money behind. Everyone thinks I'm going to kill myself but I was murdered by the system a long time ago. I have no goals, no wants, or dreams. I don't even want kids. And yeah I'm glad to have someone special in my.life but that brings its own unique challenges.
The reality is that I want nothing more than to sit on a beach somewhere in a shack, listening to the breeze, feeling the sun on my back. Seeing my girl in something skimpy and playful. Just living and eating pineapple pulled right off the plant.
I can see it, right? But if the price I have to pay is 10-15 more years of suffering, Listening to people complain about how they don't make enough money from our services and having to suck their whole asses trying to keep them…well, I'd rather die now.
The problem with the world isn't the act of working. Nah. I'd be more than happy living the simple life of fresh food, good friends, and clean water as a community. But I'm so spoiled by capitalistic materialism that I feel attached to my phone, the internet, mindless flashing lights we call videogames.
Where is the point in it all? What is the alternative?
Sorry for the rant.