I left a job recently and I'm having a lot of anxiety and guilt.
This was a small business in an industry completely new to me. There were red flags aplenty just from the interview process, but it was going to be a significant pay increase (from shit pay to slightly less shit pay) for me so… red flags ignored.
There was no training. None. I figured out how to do the job (clerical, mostly) on my own since the owner of the company made it clear that they didn't like to repeat themself. Red flag.
This was a male dominated industry, and for this particular company the communication was all “locker room” talk. Women were casually referred to as wh*res, c*nts, etc. I am a woman. This really soured me to any related industry which is unfortunate because they can't all be like this.
One employee was treated as a scapegoat. The owner constantly berated him, screamed – louder than I could ever possibly imagine screaming – at him… Racial slurs, threats, it was horrible to hear. For example, “DO YOU WANT YOUR JOB, YOU STUPID
I was paid hourly. There was no clocking in, and I showed up to work every single day 30-15 minutes early and stayed late frequently. I would show up a half hour early, covered in rain with my jacket still on and have them barking at me to do something before I even got in the door. The PTO and sick days were also a mystery. As I'm writing this I feel so stupid.
Early on during my time there, there was one Saturday morning (I worked M-F) where the owner blew up my cell phone alternating between calling and texting “CALL ME” which had me stunned holding my phone, paralyzed because I was about to be bitched out on a Saturday morning… which is exactly what happened… over something that they “didn't see” I had already put on the calendar. It was a regular thing for me to not hear from them all day just to have them call/text me after hours (aggressively).
I feel really stupid, this isn't even the half of it but I don't think I can type anymore without it making me feel sicker. I just want to know I was okay in my reasoning to leave hastily without giving proper notice. I just didn't know how I could give notice to someone that liked to give me nicknames like, “dipfuck”
The racism, sexism, homophobia, everything that I witnessed.. I just feel weird and dirty and complicit and scared? I know I didn't do anything WRONG and I can leave a job any time for any reason… but this fuck had a LOT of guns and loved to talk about them. I'm just really anxious.
Sorry for this long disjointed post. TL;DR my boss was scary/abusive so I quit without notice and I'm feeling sick over it.