Sorry if this comes across as emotionless, it was incredibly traumatic and I am still processing things.
This Monday I was on shift as a server when a man jumped from a 4 story parking garage and landed in front of our dining patio. It was like the whole world stopped, I have been reliving the first 10 minutes of the situation in my mind all week. I have never seen so much blood, and the panicked and grief stricken faces of my coworkers and my manager are burned into my memory still. Despite being in the verge of a panic attack, there was still food to be served, customers to be checked in on. I really tried my best to continue my tasks at hand even though I was shaking so bad I could barely hold a plate.
There was so much uncertainty initially. Would he survive? What even happened? How do I even begin to navigate this situation? I remember thinking there was no way we would continue to seat customers or keep the restaurant open. I was wrong. The manager on staff was the AGM, but our GM was out of town. The regional manager insisted “just don’t look in that direction.” “Just put in in the back of your mind for now.” Because he was off location.
It was our slowest day of the week at the slowest time of day, so we were minimally staffed until dinner time. The RM did not even consider to close down until dinner when we could be relieved of our positions. The bartender was slotted to work until close with no one to fill the position. Our panic slowly turned to anger. Despite witnessing such a horrific death, and struggling to process, we were expected to work according to schedule as if nothing happened.
Finally, the manager on duty took matters into her own hands and closed the bar indefinitely, and shouldered much of the weight so we could leave. This was around an hour and a half after the incident, and after she called our RM like 6 times begging for some sort of support. She handled things in every way she was able despite still trying to come to terms with the situation herself. The RM begrudgingly showed up at dinner time to relieve her of her position.
I went home and just sobbed. It took me like 20 minutes to figure out how to shower because I was so disconnected from reality. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was still expected to work the next day.
Today, 4 days later, nobody from corporate has reached out or checked in. We kept the restaurant open despite other nearby places closing down for the week to support their staff. I have not received even a word of acknowledgment from the upper management, and today is my first day off since the incident. I could have called out but I truly cannot afford to, and the only way I knew how to grieve was to seek support and solidarity with my coworkers. I feel so invalidated and somewhat gaslit by the company. They are treating it like nothing happened at all.