Venting and need some advice on how to quit, what to say, anything.
For the past two and a half years, I've been working at a small company of a dozen people including myself. So we've been through all the covid bullshit together and bonded well through that. It has been pretty easy going work for decent pay, nothing to complain about that or my coworkers. It's a tightknit group and everyone's roles are vital to daily business functions – I feel bad about quitting because I know they would have chaos, but for a multitude of reasons both personal and professional I feel like I need to put an end to it.
One part that makes me consider ending this job is a legal matter involving my taxes that I think my boss is lying to me about. Every time I try to bring it up with her, she gives me the same exact answer and deadline for when it will be fixed, but the deadline passes and nothing gets resolved. It's gone like that four times now over the past few months and she just gives me the same exact answer word for word. More and more I find it harder to speak with her directly as there's always a phone call or some other distraction as business booms. Last time I was able to get a word in, I told her I would report her and she just rolled her eyes at me and said “do whatever you need to do”…
I haven't reported her yet because I do like the job, and I'm really hoping she pulls through with her next “deadline” and maybe I'll be more eager to show up to work. But I've also been in a very “why the hell do I need to work every day for the rest of my life” kind of dilemma, so every little thing that goes wrong at work is truly a drag.
Another aspect to this began a few months ago when me and some of my coworkers happened to be late on the same days during one week, which understandably slowed us down but we caught up and everything was fine. But I overheard my boss talking on the phone where she said she would “fire them all, but no one else wants to work” and explained how she just has to sit pretty and accept it because she doesn't want to seem like a bitch and lose her employees. Well… I started clocking in later and later. At first it was just a few minutes behind because of me genuinely having problems in the morning. But something rebellious stirred in me, it gradually kept going, and now I am late almost an hour every day. The kicker is that my boss gives no reaction to it, doesnt say anything and neither do I, and she still pays me for my full shift. She even gave me an early promotion.
I know she's being nice so that she can keep her workers, but her playing extra nice in conjunction with the tax issue adds to my suspicion that she's trying to keep her hand under the table. I don't know what it is exactly, perhaps she's not reporting my wages/taxes, but my gut is really churning. My coworkers don't have any issue with their paperwork, and theyre still late too, so I don't think she's singling me out for tardiness.
I know I don't deserve to be paid for time that I'm not there so I find it really weird that she's still being that generous. I'm really nervous about confronting her again because I feel like it's going to get shut down quickly again especially if I bring up my personal feelings. I also feel like just not showing up anymore but at that point it would be more difficult to get through to her on anything. All this tension I have makes me want to leave, like, yesterday. I just don't want to go out on terms worse than they already are.