The Amazon Leadership Principles (a little retooled)
https://www.amazon.jobs/principles
Customer Obsession
Leaders start with the customer and work backwards. They work vigorously to earn and keep customer trust. Although leaders pay attention to competitors, they obsess over customers.
Family Ambivalence
Leaders would give away their first born child before they would lose a sale. Working only 60-70 hrs a week? Perhaps Amazon isn’t for you. Amazon leaders don’t stop until their spouses leave them and their kids are in drug rehab. Actually, even then, they don’t stop.
Ownership
Leaders are owners. They think long term and don’t sacrifice long-term value for short-term results. They act on behalf of the entire company, beyond just their own team. They never say “that’s not my job.”
Control
Leaders should believe they own everything. Some people call this being a control freak. Those people work at Microsoft. There is no project folder, no source file, no email, no document, sentence, or word that they don't think they can step in and re-edit or delete and completely redo in the way they know is perfect.
Invent and Simplify
Leaders expect and require innovation and invention from their teams and always find ways to simplify. They are externally aware, look for new ideas from everywhere, and are not limited by “not invented here.” As we do new things, we accept that we may be misunderstood for long periods of time.
Take Credit
Leaders understand that you can never accomplish as much as you can take credit for. They are externally aware, look for new ideas everywhere so they can pass them off as their own to management when nobody else is looking.
Are Right, A Lot
Leaders are right a lot. They have strong judgment and good instincts. They seek diverse perspectives and work to disconfirm their beliefs.
Get Their Way, A Lot
Leaders get their way a lot. They latch onto their favorite pet ideas like a pitbull on a toddler and argue, shout down, and lecture until the rest of the team just throw up their hands and go with it to keep the peace.
Hire and Develop The Best
Leaders raise the performance bar with every hire and promotion. They recognize exceptional talent, and willingly move them throughout the organization. Leaders develop leaders and take seriously their role in coaching others. We work on behalf of our people to invent mechanisms for development like Career Choice.
Embrace Darwinism
The words “second chance” are not in our vocabulary. We prefer words like “show no mercy”, “finish him!”, and “sweep the leg!” You either fly like an eagle, or die like a dodo at Amazon. A good leader here knows how to strike the fear of God into the trembling hearts of their inferiors and laugh maniacally when they find those pussy willows curled up in distraught little balls, sobbing. Then they fire them.
Insist on the Highest Standards
Leaders have relentlessly high standards — many people may think these standards are unreasonably high. Leaders are continually raising the bar and drive their teams to deliver high quality products, services, and processes. Leaders ensure that defects do not get sent down the line and that problems are fixed so they stay fixed.
Should Never Act Satisfied
Leaders understand that the second you let on that an employee is fulfilling expectations, the fear motivation is completely gone. Leaders pride themselves in knowing that those around them aren't sleeping because of them. They strive to instill the value of work/work balance. It's so much easier. Really, think about it. What do you need to worry about balancing when you're always working?
Think Big
Thinking small is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Leaders create and communicate a bold direction that inspires results. They think differently and look around corners for ways to serve customers.
Say Big Things, No Matter How Bat-Shit Crazy It Sounds
It's way cooler when a big idea tanks. Think of the Hindenburg. WASN'T THAT AWESOME?!!!
Bias for Action
Speed matters in business. Many decisions and actions are reversible and do not need extensive study. We value calculated risk taking.
Bias Against Feedback
Leaders know they're right. Why should they consider others' ideas? Leaders skip the rookie, time-wasting peer review process to deliver ahead of schedule. Blame for failure can always be abdicated. There's no substitute for punctuality, though.
Frugality
Accomplish more with less. Constraints breed resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, and invention. There are no extra points for growing headcount, budget size, or fixed expense.
Psychotic Skinflintery
A leader’s favorite show growing up was MacGyver. That guy could make anything with just his belly-button lint, shoelaces, and the metal rivets in his jeans. Want catered lunch? A break fridge? Gym? Christmas party? Work computer? Salary? Go work with those sissies at Google. This is the big leagues, bitches.
Learn and Be Curious
Leaders are never done learning and always seek to improve themselves. They are curious about new possibilities and act to explore them.
Learn and Bicurious
“They are curious about new possibilities and act to explore them.” See? Changed the whole meaning with just one letter.
Earn Trust
Leaders listen attentively, speak candidly, and treat others respectfully. They are vocally self-critical, even when doing so is awkward or embarrassing. Leaders do not believe their or their team’s body odor smells of perfume. They benchmark themselves and their teams against the best.
Feign Sincerity
Leaders practice that “concerned look” in the mirror every morning. They’ve mastered the art of looking interested and self-deprecating with their team while rolling their eyes and shafting them to management when they’re not around.
Dive Deep
Leaders operate at all levels, stay connected to the details, audit frequently, and are skeptical when metrics and anecdote differ. No task is beneath them.
Micromanage
There is nothing leaders don’t know about their team at any given second: their team members’ status, their team members’ web browsing habits, the contents of their emails or phone calls, how long they spend in the bathroom, what they drive, what their favorite foods are, what they sleep in, whom they’re sleeping with. Leaders. Know. Everything.
Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit
Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting. Leaders have conviction and are tenacious. They do not compromise for the sake of social cohesion. Once a decision is determined, they commit wholly.
Destroy All Relationships and Drive Everyone Else Into the Ground Psychologically So That They Can Be Right
Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting. They do not compromise for the sake of social cohesion. Wait, did I just copy that straight from the Amazon website? Really? Aren't I supposed to come up with something else really cynical and depressing about working at Amazon? Oh…
Deliver Results
Leaders focus on the key inputs for their business and deliver them with the right quality and in a timely fashion. Despite setbacks, they rise to the occasion and never settle.
Spout Nebulous Platitudes
Leaders focus on the key inputs for their business and deliver them with the right quality and in a timely fashion. Despite setbacks, they rise to the occasion and never settle.