Looking for some different perspectives here.
So, I'm an IT professional working as a store manager for an electronics repair company. I've been with my company for right at 2 years.
There has been a lot of good from this job, and a lot of bad. In a nutshell though, I've reached a point that I'm absolutely miserable and hate the job.
(To lead into this. Let me preface that initially this job started with a very close working relationship directly with the owners. Over time, that working relationship has become almost non-existant)
I have been feeling the burnout for about a year now after one of the owners showed up, started accusing my staff and I of not working, being lazy, and began belittling us. He cussed out one of my staff, which quickly turned into “fuck yous” from both sides. I jumped in, very blatantly informed the owner he was wrong, and before he makes accusations he better damn well be right, and that he can check the fucking cameras for himself before he says another word or I'm walking out.
There was a few more minutes of arguing, and then the owner just dropped it. But, that was the nail in the coffin. Not just for me, but my staff even.
We're a very small, understaffed team. I'm expected to run a store 7 days a week with myself and 2 employees.
My staff and I work so closely together, the reason why any of us are still there is because we don't want to screw each other over. We can't afford to just walk either.
With that said. Several months ago, as I was getting ready for work one morning, I recognized the onset of a collapsing lung. I sent a message to my staff and owners stating I was going to the hospital, for a collapsed lung, and would probably be out for a while. Get to the hospital, tell the staff there I'm experiencing an acute pneumothorax, correctly diagnosing myself to the shock of two dozen medical professionals, and was admitted.
I spent two weeks in the hospital because of a botch during surgery that got covered up, and then 4 weeks in and out of the hospital on recovery.
During this time, they paid me 100% of my salary for the 6 weeks I was out. (Should go ahead and note here: no benefits. That hospital emergency left me 250k of medical debt I can't even look at because I don't know how to pay it)
I didn't ask. They just did it.
In addition, when they finally looked into bringing on benefits at the start of this year, they offered to pay for me to have a basic insurance package since I can't afford the rates they got.
By them still paying my full salary, it literally kept me from winding up homeless once I left the hospital, as I would not have been able to catch up.
It's 9.5 hours a day. No official lunch break (legally required in my State)
I've had raises communicated to me months ago in writing (by company email) that I've never seen.
They stripped bonuses, which at the start was nearly 1/3rd of my income.
My pay is inconsistent. They insist on having a twice monthly payroll. As a result, my checks can have a 3-5 day variance on when they actually hit depending on weekends/holidays. When your paycheck to paycheck, that's extremely tough. Especially if it results in late fees that literally just take away from my income.
It's a bullshit “salary”. Not really salary, I get paid a flat amount of hours, no overtime.
I have the full responsibility of the store, yet I get paid the exact same as my staff.
The owners are extremely defensive and take any criticism or feedback as an attack.
Even though I'm the store manager, I'm not allowed to fully run the store. The owners want to oversee certain things, but they often drop the ball & forget, even if I'm sending daily messages about the things the store needs.
They also micro-manage certain aspects of the business and refuse to allow me access, even though they often drop the ball. This leads to inventory issues, and as a direct result it also results in lost sales, which was the reason they pulled the bonus for. Because numbers had declined.
With all that said. As much as I fucking hate getting up every single morning. I'm torn, and I don't know if I'm just over-analyzing, being unrealistic, or have just become cynical without realizing it.
I've had shit like this at EVERY single company I've worked for. Doesn't matter if it's a mom & pop or a Fortune 500 company.
So, what would change?
On one hand, I'm grateful for the full pay while I was hospitalized. I know many people would kill for such an option.
But If I stick at this job I'm just letting myself further spiral into depression and misery. I know with everything I've listed, it seems obvious.
Outside of the hospital and shitty work environment, life in general has quite frankly fucked me for the last 2 years.
Car got totaled in the work parking lot.
3 weeks later my father surprised me with a cheap car to get to and from work until I could save up for better.
A week later, my father passed away unexpectedly. He was my idol, my hero. His death has led to me having severe depression.
5-6 months later, my abusive/manipulative Ex fiance was caught cheating on me with a friend and they went around falsely accusing me of assault when I ousted them to try to save their reputations.( – know for a fact I have lost job opportunities as a result, but I'm not rich or famous for it to be a case.)
Few weeks later my Grandfather passed away.
A month later I totaled the vehicle my father had gotten me. His last gift to me gone.
And then the hospital visit.
I can absolutely admit I struggle to have a positive mindset following these events. It's hard for me to put faith in anything or anyone as I don't know what to trust anymore.
I don't say this for pity. But to explain that I'm having a hard time seeing positive. There's so much shit here, all jumbled in with all the fucking hells I've been thorough the past two years, but there's also things I have no doubt I'll never come across again. (Like getting full salary while out of work 6 weeks on medical leave).
Am I fucking crazy to hate this job? Or am I crazy for not moving on?
Part of me has concerns I'll end up encountering shit with the false accusations which really deters me as I wouldn't even know how to respond. (Side note : for the record, I do have recordings of the accusers admitting to it being false accusations)
Part of me doesn't want to screw over employees. I truly try every day to be a leader, and not a boss; and this eats at me as I'd essentially be abandoning my staff.
Is it really as bad as I feel it is? Is it time to move on? Do you have any recommendations for a reputable employer in the IT industry (US), preferably with internal help desk positions open??