I’m 47, I grew up with a single mum who was still working her own shit out at 17 when she had two kids. She was a good mum and provided as best as she could. She eventually through endless hard work reached a stage of comfort and retired at 65 with enough capital to be just comfortable in her public housing unit. She also has starting to experience physical problems that will in no doubt affect her ability to enjoy the rest of her later years.
I’ve not got any offical trade except transport and logistics, since I transitioned just over 7 years ago (m2f) I have not been able to get work in an industry I have over 20 years experience in. I worked Uber for some time and put up with major shit to the point I just can’t do it anymore. I did own a home and I do have a family. I once was quite comfortable myself making good money. When I divorced, we sold up and paid off debts. I gave most of the money to my ex wife as it was all my actions that broke our world apart. The rest I spent on me. I wouldn’t change anything in my past for what I have now, so this is not about regret or feeling sorry for myself.
I worked a good 22 years of my life, from 17 to 39 without much of a break. Some months I have done 90+ hour weeks, with an average of around 65. I’ve gone years without holidays and missed a lot of my daughters (20) younger life. I broke my body and went through extreme cases of sciatica and gout, lower back pain and knees that hurt and creak when it’s cold.
Now if I continued for another 20 years I would have paid off my house and been comfortable at 65. But I didn’t. I took that investment from a thing and put it into me. I destroyed my world to change my world. I spent years regaining the trust of my ex wife and connecting with my daughter and son (9). I made sure people around me we comfortable and the promises I made kept.
So now here I am. 47, trans, sex worker (got to make a living somehow guys, and I don’t really mind it!)with a 9 year old to support and a 20 year old daughter (they don’t stop needing your help when they turn into an adult). No formal education that I can use and my only real skill set if in an industry I haven’t worked in in over 7 years.
I can say loud and proud, I’ve had a fucking blast over the last 7 years. I have lead a life, I have done whatever I wanted every single fucking day without question. I have gone on adventures with my son and built connection with my beautiful daughter. I go to dinner with my ex and have a better friendship now than when we were married.
Just offering my advice. Don’t ever choose work and comfort over family, friends and life. We don’t have long, and most of the good years where you’re young and physical are spent at work instead of life. I know you like me, you have to work to live, but my work stoped me from living. What was the fucking point! You don’t even know you’re trapped until you break free. Work for life, work for family and work for friends.
I won’t be able to work forever and I don’t know what the future holds. No savings, no assets except my car, live week to week, and yet I’m happier now then I have ever been. I have life insurance that I pay and will pay (my kids inheritance). When it’s time that I can no longer support myself, I end it and the next generation gets a kick start (hoping in about 20 odd years).
No regrets, no fucks given. Fuck this shit, fuck these people and all their self important systems. Do what the fuck you want so long as you don’t fuck with others (ps, corporations and governments aren’t people) right to do the same. Don’t waste the one thing you can never get back. Your time on this earth.