Sorry for the formatting, on mobile. Figured this would be the best place to vent. I'm so upset. My Nana has dementia and lives in the dementia ward in a nursing home (special ward where she can't wander off and get lost or hurt). Her nursing home has continued to set up Zoom calls even after their covid visitor restrictions were lifted. Today is (obviously) mother's day, and we had a call scheduled with her. It goes the same way it always goes- she talks for maybe 10 minutes and then starts talking anxiously about how she needs to leave because of things like: her lunch break is over and we're making her late, she's waiting on an important phone call, the restaurant (she used to work at) is understaffed and needs her, her shift is about to start, etc.
It's just so sad that her dementia is confusing her and making her anxious about needing to work, and her feeling like she has to leave her family call because of it. She does this every single week. And she does want to talk- she always apologizes profusely, and complains that we don't visit her or call her enough. But because her dementia delusions make her think she's working, she's so anxious and leaves the calls. When I last visited her (18+ hour drive), I came up to her floor and she was in the common room folding fabric napkins because she was 'working'. I asked if she wanted to visit and she got extremely anxious that her boss wouldn't let her have a break.
It breaks my heart that she's spending her last few years anxious over work and diminishing the time we have left because of work. Work shouldn't be so central to life that a dementia patient is living in memories of less-than-meaningful work rather than good family memories (which she has, she loves her family) or childhood memories (which are happy as far as I'm aware). No, she gets to live out her life anxious about work. It makes me want to throw up. It's hitting harder today because it's Mother's Day and she ended the call 20 minutes early. Thanks for letting me vent. I guess if there's a larger takeaway, it would be- don't make work so central to your life if possible. If you got Alzheimer's/Dementia, I promise you wouldn't want the memories you're living in to be work-related.