In December of 2019, I separated from my spouse of nine years, the father of my beautiful daughter, and my husband of two years. Through talking with friends about some different situations that happened at home, I realized that my marriage was, in fact, very toxic. My daughter, who at the time had just turned four years old, saw my scraped-up knee and asked me if her daddy hurt me? My scraped-up knee was through the fault of my clumsy self falling down the stairs while helping friends move. At the time, my husband was out of state for work and had been for days. My husband and I fought A LOT, A LOT, A LOT, but we never got physical with each other, and we always made sure the kiddo was in her room and not around to witness the fighting; well, technically yelling matches. I should have known better because, of course, reflecting now, I see all of the flaws, but at the time of my life, I thought since she was so young and little and not around to witness the fighting, I thought it wouldn't affect her, I was entirely wrong.
One night getting ready for bed, a straightforward question out of a four-year-old mouth decided my future! I broke down to my friends even more and decided it was time and that I knew what I had to do because I couldn't allow myself to have my daughter be raised in a fake love show of home; she heard everything behind her closed bedroom door. She had never done anything to deserve the treatment she was being shown. She was never neglected or beaten; literally, she had more than she could ever imagine what to do with and mommy and daddy showered her with love the best we could. We only argued at night after she was already in bed and assumed asleep; that question she asked me showed me otherwise and instantly broke my heart.
Once separated from my husband, I moved in with my friend and her family. They graciously opened their home to me in my time of need and allowed me to go from being a married stay-at-home mom to suddenly a single mom looking for full-time work to get a place on my own. I got a part-time job at the local grocery store and quickly worked my way up to full-time and then got a promotion to Online shopper lead five months into working at said store. I did what everyone tells you that you're supposed to do to be stable on your own; I was able to do this through the help of my amazing friends.
Fall of 2020, finally time to search for a place of my own since I now have a consistent income. I searched for a place to rent with no luck, so I decided to bite the bullet and apply for government financial assistance since I was only making it because of living with my friends and had no luck getting a place of my own. I had made it a point and a goal to make it on my own after leaving and separating that I would get a place of my own, on my own, so I was working extra hard to try not to have to ever rely on government assistance.
With the way the world works, I was left with no other choice; as a single mom making $22,790 GROSS annually, I made too much to qualify for government assistance, but I didn't make enough to cover all necessary living expenses. Here I am sitting with the dilemma of, do I continue to bust my ass working full-time and not even able to make ends meet? or do I quit my job so that I can get an apartment for my daughter and I so that we can have a place to call home besides just my friends' house and her dads' house?
I don't want to be one of those women who gets with a man just for a place to live and then with the thought process of making a long term relationship work; I want to be able to work and provide on my own and then if I meet someone that adds to what I have, I'll take the steps towards a relationship, I want a partner, not a leach, and I do not want to be a leach.
I want a job; well, I don't want a job, but I honestly have no problem contributing towards tasks that help my daughter and me to have a healthy and happy life. I will spend 40 hours a week doing whatever I have to do to be able to provide for my daughter and me, but I don't want to work 40 hours a week and still be left with the fear of going homeless and hungry, which is ridiculous!
Another problem is that there are no places to rent, at least not on a single income; I can't buy a house because I have horrible credit and no current employment. I am stuck on section 8 housing and food stamps because of crappy policies and greedy people.
In my opinion, just based on my life experiences, people want to work because not many people genuinely like to be lazy; it's just that we have too many greedy people in this world, and no one wants to bust their ass working 40 or more hours a week to be broke anyways. This is just a little bit of my spiel; I have more to share and will be posting again soon. Thanks to everyone who read this far. I would love to hear any feedback.