I am struggling financially and have only 1 month's worth of sustenance money left in my account.
My YEARLY expenses are only $3000 as i live in a smalltown in a developing country. And i am REALLY REALLY frugal in how i live.
The major expenses in my budget is rent and i manage food and other expenses in mere $100 a month which is modest even by my country's standards.
I ve SIBO (a digestive disorder) that's why normal routine jobs arent a thing for me. I am also trying to heal through my depression that is part of the SIBO thing.
As i have lost a lot of weight due to SIBO, i look frail and skinny and people talk in a very rude manner. I am 37 but look like a teenager. This makes me avoid going out facing people until i recover.
My family whom i supported financially/other ways in the past have disowned me and i cannot look upto them for any help.
I can call friends for help, but its a little embarrassing to ask for it. I have never taken any financial help from anyone in my life. So it will really damage my self respect.
People make money through networking. And because i don't go out much, socialize much. I dont build a network and hence i don't get many projects.
I spend time interacting in support groups like these.
Because if i ask for help from anyone, they give me standard advise like : “get a job”, “shift to another city”,
they don't understand that these “normal easy things” are very difficult for me right now.
Besides, i am anti-work. While staying alone since last 7 years i ve developed a strong hatred for consumerist model. Where people are doing unproductive meaningless things.
I have worked in charities all this time, i taught children, raised funds for them.
Stil doing similar project. But these charities are struggling financially and they don't pay anything. And the moment they pay, they start treating me like just another employee. If you know what i mean!
And that really puts me off. So i work for free, at least it helps me feel good that i am doing something.
I also do a lot of free work for friends. Because again, the moment money comes in there is a certain sense of tension that builds up. I like keeping things/motive first and money second. Sometimes some people pay, many times they don't even if they pay, its much less than market rates.
Earlier, i was associated with another NGO which was well of financially. And i got free accommodation and food/
but i had to leave it because i raised voice against abuse/exploitation of children staying there. And this did nt go well with the main person there. And it got very stressful. So i had to leave.
Since then i have been living in this rented place and have to bear the expenses which were nt there earlier.Some price we pay for activism.
. I had some savings from my earlier projects but now they are coming to an end.
Besides, the website market is pretty saturated and even if i get projects it takes a lot of time to complete as the buyers push their whims/timelines and pay very less.
No i don't want you to give me money just like that. But if anyone of you need a website, i can make it .
I have also assisted a life coach earlier and have experience in performance coaching/assistance. So if you need help in organizing/productivity I can assist there too.
And you can pay me whatever you like.
In fact, if you buy hosting through my aff link, i will set up your site for free. And also TEACH you how to build websites yourself. So you are in control of your site.
I make sites on Google Sites and WordPress.
If you are skeptical, you can get the work done first and pay only if you like the work.
I have insurance and other expenses coming up next month. I have no idea how i will meet them. This has all really also impacted my anxiety.
One last option is to go back home. But my mother is very toxic and abusive. This was the reason i got SIBO in first place. I really really don't want to do that. I left home 7 years ago. And since then
Just desperately looking for some income right now with some respect. I thought i will give this posting here a try.
Thanks for reading through. Sorry if this violates the group policies.. Leaving aside the money part, i also wanted to share MY perspective of how someone can struggle without a basic support system.
This is precisely why i am a “socialist” because i know how exactly does it feels like, When you most basic needs are not met unless you are born rich, or neurotypical in good health who can work long hours.