I've been at my company for 4 years and have gotten no sizable increase in salary or a promotion and have yet to take a legitimate vacation since I started the workforce when I graduated in 2014. I thought this was my dReAm JoB but I'm burnt out. I've had 4 supervisors since I started in 2017 being handed off to a new one more frequently than once a year until I landed my current supervisor around January 2020, obviously a really poor time to get a new supervisor as the world was months from shutting down. Not to mention with the change of supervisor, my old clients/ projects fell off the radar so I was doing entirely new work/ dealing with new projects right before the pandemic hit. In 2020 we were furloughed 20% and did not have a formal annual review period because of how weird everything was and in 2021 we switched back to full time with a massive emphasis on productivity and utilization to make up for the lost year and pretending like we all didn't spend the last two years working (some of us working from our bedrooms because we have minimal space and share with roommates) with no potential for a “life” balance as that was put on hold during the lockdowns (which were particularly bad in the Bay Area where I'm located).
Not only was I slowly disdaining the direction our small company was going and letting work slip, I also got completely left behind in the last 2 years and got next to no support from my supervisor or team as I further isolated myself during the lockdowns. HR ignored me, my supervisor ignored me and my work suffered and I wasn't trained properly nor did I get the support I needed at the height of the pandemic.
Back in fall 2021 I was asked to step up my work and I did in a major way but right before our holiday break my supervisor insinuated I quit or decide during our first holiday break from Christmas to New Years if I would rather be put on a performance improvement plan. Spend the first week off I've ever had in my adult career to decide on quitting/ looking for a new job after being blindsided that my supervisor wants me to quit? No thank you. I'm on the performance improvement plan now and it feels like despite my position in the company being one that does not hold a lot of weight or power, she has given me no room for mistakes no matter how small while I'm on this plan and she went from no management at all to micromanaging literally every word I say or type. I was already burnt out before the new year began. It doesn't help that any little thing I do will likely result in my termination. I'm too burnt out to be putting in this work on the PIP while looking for a new job at the same time. Idk, this is just a rant but I'm not sure what to do. Certainly I could find a replacement before the PIP ends at the end of March but I honestly want a couple months to myself to slow down. I'm totally void of energy or motivation and feel I'm under so much unnecessary pressure. And if this is what a dream job looks like after a new CEO and a once in a lifetime pandemic? I don't want it.