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Antiwork

Job description BS and what they really mean

“We’re looking for someone who can hit the ground running” = we have little to no onboarding and you are expected to perform close to perfect as soon as you join. There’s no room for error. “We have an exciting fast paced environment” = you will be constantly waterhosed in the face with too much to do in little time. There’s nothing exciting about it. “We’re looking for a rockstar candidate who comes to work everyday loving what they do” = we want someone with exceptional skills, an amazing attitude, and undying loyalty who is hopefully also fine being underpaid for their value “We offer free bananas and potato chips in our kitchen!” = Since our company perks suck, we try to entice you with cheap snacks Also if the job description has a giant list of what they want from a candidate but not much about what they as…


“We’re looking for someone who can hit the ground running” = we have little to no onboarding and you are expected to perform close to perfect as soon as you join. There’s no room for error.

“We have an exciting fast paced environment” = you will be constantly waterhosed in the face with too much to do in little time. There’s nothing exciting about it.

“We’re looking for a rockstar candidate who comes to work everyday loving what they do” = we want someone with exceptional skills, an amazing attitude, and undying loyalty who is hopefully also fine being underpaid for their value

“We offer free bananas and potato chips in our kitchen!” = Since our company perks suck, we try to entice you with cheap snacks

Also if the job description has a giant list of what they want from a candidate but not much about what they as a company can offer you, it’s usually a sign that they don’t have much to offer employees to begin with.

Feel free to add to the list so people are aware of the devious lingo these job postings use to sugarcoat the realities of a job

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