About 30 minutes later I get a call from my boss informing me that the owner of the restaurant will be requiring a drug test in order for me to claim workers comp, knowing damn well the entire staff smokes weed in their free time and that I would inevitably fail.
And I was thinking about it, and I feel like that's pretty fucked up. Like imagine if bosses could have a get out of jail free card for ever having to pay for work accidents for people who drink alcohol outside of work– because it's practically the same, if not worse. I don't do that shit before work. On the clock. None of that. I very obviously was sober when I cut myself while working, but none of that matters. It's just a loophole that some rich franchise owners are exploiting, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've cut myself at two other restaurant jobs in the past and have had no issue claiming workers comp from them, but I guess I wasn't working for complete sociopaths at those times. Go figure.
ETA: I have insurance, thankfully. But there have been times I've been in this situation in which I did not, and I am grateful for not having been put through this then. I appreciate the suggestions.