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RANT: I don’t think I can be a nurse anymore! How would you quit?

So, some background. I am a nurse (RN). I got into nursing a year before the pandemic hit. I absolutely loved the job before it became overrun with Covid. Even as we’re seeing numbers in cases dropping (in my area), it’s still a miserable job.  This isn’t just about the virus, it’s so much more than that.Personally, I've been beaten down by the workload. We’ve had so many workers quit to either find a new job or leave the profession altogether. I am tired of coming to work to be told that we are, once again, understaffed by 2, 3, 4, even 5 or 6 nurses—on our floor alone. I’m worried about the care my patients are receiving. I cannot physically take on total care responsibilities for 6-9 patients on a given shift! The patients are suffering here, and I’m risking my nursing license that took me thousands of dollars…


So, some background. I am a nurse (RN). I got into nursing a year before the pandemic hit. I absolutely loved the job before it became overrun with Covid. Even as we’re seeing numbers in cases dropping (in my area), it’s still a miserable job. 

This isn’t just about the virus, it’s so much more than that.Personally, I've been beaten down by the workload. We’ve had so many workers quit to either find a new job or leave the profession altogether. I am tired of coming to work to be told that we are, once again, understaffed by 2, 3, 4, even 5 or 6 nurses—on our floor alone. I’m worried about the care my patients are receiving. I cannot physically take on total care responsibilities for 6-9 patients on a given shift! The patients are suffering here, and I’m risking my nursing license that took me thousands of dollars and countless hours of hard work to achieve.

I’ve told my superiors that I don’t feel comfortable and they simply disregard my comments! They even had the audacity to approve adding a 4-bed addition to our unit despite being understaffed. We have a 25 room unit that can hold 42 patients, yet our night shift schedule is comprised of 8 nurses. And don’t even get me started on the problems that our patient care techs face… a measly $15/hr to be used and abused (not that my pay is much better)

This weekend, I will be returning to my job after just having surgery. I’ve asked them to please space out my schedule for a few weeks, as I’m still recovering and still very weak. Of course, they denied my request because “this is a 24 hour business and [I] can't be choosy with my schedule.” Whatever, I'm sure i'll make it through the weekend, but I know by Tuesday morning I will be in agonizing pain and beyond exhausted.

As a result of this surgery, I underwent a few rounds of IV and oral antibiotics, painful wound care, plus a few weeks of intense rehab from my home. My surgeon questioned me intensely when I told her I would be returning to work this week. During this time not one of my managers reached out to see how I was or if I needed anything. In fact, the only reason they contacted me was to ask “can you come cover some shifts this week?” I’ve been paying out of pocket for my insurance premiums due to being employed at this institution for less than a year. I haven't received a check for PTO or sick leave or disability either… again, because I'm not eligible.

The hospital has also decided to remove our overtime bonus, stating in an email that (not verbatim) “we are through the worst of the pandemic, therefore unable to provide the emergency pay rate.” My boss even said something to the effect of “we knew it would end eventually, so there's no use in complaining about it.”

Now, I totally get that others are dealing with this too. It's not exclusive to the nursing profession, and certainly not exclusive to the institution that I work at. We are seeing record numbers of nurses leaving the bedside, or just leaving the profession on a national level. Other hospitals are even worse. Collectively, it feels as if nurses/other healthcare professionals are expendable, despite working tirelessly with other medical professionals to keep others safe and healthy. How many patients have to suffer the consequences of the nursing shortage before these hospitals realize something has got to change? How many nurses do we have to lose before we are given the respect we deserve from hospital CEOs, and other highly compensated administrators?

It all boils down to this: I mentally and physically can’t do this anymore. The patients are suffering from a lack of care. Admin only worries about their pockets. I’m fearful of harming a patient and subsequently losing my livelihood. I’m pushing myself to return to a job that doesn’t care about my, my coworkers, or my patient's well-being.

I am on the hunt for a new job. I've applied to several jobs and am awaiting interviews/call backs. But I can't keep going on. I've become depressed and anxious about this whole thing. Even to the point of being suicidal because I do not want to go back. I realize that no job is worth losing your life over, but it just seems like an endless cycle.

Now that all of that is out there… how do I quit? Or, better worded, how would you quit? I want to give a formal letter of resignation, but I'm worried that I'll do it 'wrong' and fear retaliation from my supervisor(s) and other staff. Is a 2 week notice even sufficient? After all, I am scheduled through the middle of June. Im also worried because I was given (forced to sign a 2-year contract) a $5,000 sign on bonus that has paid out ~$4,000 already. I asked at the beginning of my employment to opt out of the money, but was scolded and told it was a mandatory and common practice in my area. I was quite naive, so I accepted it, and now realize it was a mistake. Does anyone have any advice on what to do? How have you gone about quitting? Would you even quit at this point, or would you stick it out?

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