I don't hate my job per se, but I also don't love doing it everyday either. I deal with a lot of anxiety around employment (having been laid off three times in the span of two years thanks to the pandemic) and constantly think that I'm going to be fired/laid off for the most little of things. I know I'm not alone in having these thoughts, but a part of even having them makes me angry.
My room mate has recently contracted Covid (rapid and PCR confirmed) and obviously I'm exposed. I also got a PCR test done at the same time and it came back negative and I'm beginning to wonder if I'd taken the test too soon. Anyways, when I found out about my room mate I told my job that I was going to get a PCR done, which I thought most people knew took two days to get, but yet 😐 . I got my PCR test done yesterday and I assumed the 2 day-turn-over thing was common knowledge so I stayed home today and did what work I could do from home and sleep. Idk if I have covid, but I am tired af. Could be a symptom, could be life. My roommate is having a rough time with covid even tho we're both vaxxed and boosted. Around 3pm I get my PCR result and it's negative, but my roommate's is positive. I'm thinking the day is already over so I'll text my job later, but they texted me around 4pm asking why they hadn't heard anything from me all day. I quickly texted back apologizing and saying that if they want me to come in tomorrow even though we usually work from home tomorrow I would, but I haven't gotten a response.
So now I'm stressing the hell out wondering if I'm about to get fired or laid off again. I hate feeling like this and I hate that employment has traumatized so much that even stepping out of line once scares me to my core.
I hate so much that we only get such a limited amount of time on this planet and we spend like 70% working for other people who look at us as numbers.