So, I showed up to a meeting early. I was sitting in the meeting room alone, and I don't think anybody realized I was there. And just outside of the open door I hear two guys talking. Both managers. One was talking about how the storms and clouds have been affecting his wife because she has seasonal affective disorder. He said two or three other things I couldn't understand. Truly sounds personal, I’m not trying to listen. And the other guy says “it's a shame you can't just choke a bitch out”. And they both laughed. And proceeded to mumble jokes about it for a full minute. And then the guy whose wife they are talking about makes a joke about just doing a little gentle choke. Not trying to kill her, just trying to shit her up.
These men are super nice to my face and one of them is a teammate, and though he doesn’t directly manage me, he outranks me and we are working on some of the same projects. I’m feeling a little uncomfortable looking him in the eye right now, but I’m sure I can let it go if I needed to for professional purposes. But I have huge concerns that people just Willy-Nilly talk this way.
I’ve only been at this company a couple of months, and I am accustomed to a very respectful and conservative culture in all of my previous jobs. I have reached out to a few friends who work at the same company, and they have told me that this is just how it is there. It’s a boys club, HR doesn’t really care, they don’t take complaints seriously. They settle lawsuits and move on. I didn’t intend to complain but I have emailed myself a detailed account of the event. Just in case there is a pattern of behavior and I need to contact someone about it. Again, this doesn’t directly affect me, but it’s a huge red flag and I don’t understand how managers could think it was OK. Just looking for some feedback. I don’t think I’m overreacting to think this is pretty messed up.