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Antiwork

Never thought I’d say this, but I quit my job today

I finally quit my job today. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make because I don’t have anything else lined up yet, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I worked for a small family business (not my family) and my boss (the owner of the company) was so toxic. The work culture there was work harder, work faster, and be perfect 110% of the time. We were encouraged to come to work sick, made to feel guilty when using vacation days, and constantly reminded how “lucky” we were to work there. The only way I can think to describe my relationship with my boss is that I felt like I was in an abusive relationship. I was unhappy for a long time, but I kept convincing myself to hang on because all of the bad days of being belittled, talked down to, and made to…


I finally quit my job today. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make because I don’t have anything else lined up yet, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I worked for a small family business (not my family) and my boss (the owner of the company) was so toxic. The work culture there was work harder, work faster, and be perfect 110% of the time. We were encouraged to come to work sick, made to feel guilty when using vacation days, and constantly reminded how “lucky” we were to work there. The only way I can think to describe my relationship with my boss is that I felt like I was in an abusive relationship. I was unhappy for a long time, but I kept convincing myself to hang on because all of the bad days of being belittled, talked down to, and made to feel like I was nothing were followed by days of “love bombing”. One day I’d be criticized and scrutinized to no end and come home crying, and then the next day I’d be told how fabulous and hardworking I am. And as ashamed as I am to say it, I was afraid to stand up for myself because anytime I even tried to broach the subject a little bit, I was made to feel like I was crazy or had a bad attitude. My boss is the kind of person who will talk you in circles until you don’t even know what your point was anymore and you will do or say anything just to make them stop. It was manipulative and honestly a mind fuck. I had no work/life balance. I’d wake up, drive 50 min to work, be expected to work at a ridiculously fast pace with no lunch break, drive 50 minutes home, eat dinner and then be so mentally drained and physically exhausted that I’d have to go to bed. Weekends were spent doing all of the housework and errands I couldn’t do during the week and I was constantly stressing about work. Wash, rinse, repeat. I have had mean bosses before and been treated not so great at some previous work places, but I’d never been so broken down emotionally, mentally, and physically as I had been at this job. I always had some anxiety here and there, but the past two weeks I started having full blown anxiety attacks about this job. It destroyed my self confidence and left me feeling worthless. I am completely and utterly burnt out. I let the job and my boss control my life, but today I took some of my power back. I got myself out of a toxic work environment and am taking the first steps to work on myself and my mental health and rebuild everything I lost. Through all of this though, I am so thankful and so lucky to have a loving and supportive husband and family. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have that support and I can’t imagine getting through this alone. I know there are worse things then having a bad job or a bad boss, but I just wanted to get it off my chest and thought I’d share in case anyone can relate to my situation. I’ve been a long time lurker on this subreddit and it always helped me to read others’ stories on here. I’ve been inspired by so many of you who have had the courage to remove yourself from toxic work environments and find ways to move forward even when it feels hopeless. Thank you for inspiring me to do the same. Now I just have to take it one day at a time.

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