Title says it all. My performance review was originally set for early January but the past weeks it has been postponed several times. I have severe anxiety over my performance reviews ever since I was laid off in another job in 2018 and after 5 weeks of this its starting to give me physical sickness.
I was raised in an authoritative house where failure isn’t an option and so the smallest amount of failure sends me into a severe depression. I’ve had mental breakdowns for being asked to leave a baseball gift shop because I loosely tossed a ball inside it when I was 10.
Back to my review being postponed. Originally it was postponed because we got a new VP so he wanted to see/review everything. Sure fine. Then it was postponed another week. Unknown reason. Then postponed 2 weeks. Unknown reason. Then postponed a week because my manager traveled to the corporate office. FINALLY it was scheduled for this Wednesday. WEDNESDAY MORNING AT 4am ITS RESCHEDULED TO FRIDAY. Giving me severe anxiety because if I was to fire someone It’d be on Friday not midweek. THEN this morning it was re-scheduled for today at 3:30pm. I am all kinds of distraught and physically ill. Maybe this post belongs truer on r/trueoffmychest but I just thought I’d share somewhere.
I recognize my anxiety and fears are unreasonable (most likely) but getting laid off was a huge hit to my confidence and frankly traumatic and I cant get over it. Im in therapy to try and help it as its affecting my everyday life ever since but no progress so far