I’ve been working in my current role the last two years. I’m a healthcare professional and this is my first job out of university. I started off this job “strong” by giving my 100% and trying to be visible to my employer as a hardworking employee e.g. offering to see more patients, making myself available at a moment’s notice, etc.
The last 6-8 months I’ve been increasingly burnt out to a crisp. I do the absolute bare minimum now. I meet with patients accordingly and get things in by their deadlines. I work maybe 3-4 hours of my day.
There’s a mix of emotions going on. Sometimes I pin it to my depression, a stressful personal life, jadedness to the job, and honestly bitterness that I haven’t seen a raise/bonus since my hire. Regarding the last two points, I’ve been on the job hunt and am interviewing around. Despite all this, I have those internalized messages that I’m slacking off. I feel selfish and guilty because I had performed better previously.
Now it feels as though my decreased work performance is catching up to me as my boss wants to set up a meeting to discuss “what I’m doing with [my] time” I’m worried I’m going to be fired and simultaneously I want to be transparent that I’m burnt out, technically doing my job, and will feel incentivized to be more productive if I was paid more ie got my annual raise.