When I decided to quit alcohol, weed and caffeine, I thought it would straighten me out. At work I would be lazy, clock in late, and hate my time being spent there. Surely it was the substances fault! Surely, if I could reset my brain to enjoy the little things, and stop being such a lazy stoner then I would grow up and get a big boy job. As if somehow by not smoking marijuana I would be transformed into a go getter who loved the 9-5 with a shit eating grin.
And? I became even lazier. I used to use caffeine to motivate myself to get to work, because my brain is screaming at me not to. Because, work is miserable. I use alcohol and weed to relax after work, because my brain desperately wants to forget I really just spent 8 hours of my finite life standing at a mall kiosk and staring out into space. Is that normal? None of this is normal. I live in a concrete covered city where giant metal carriages float people around, spewing pollutants, all for the sake of the economy and the auto workers. But nobody actually likes working in a car factory. Sure, everything is closer together and I don't need a car to get around. But where would I even go? Unless you like buying things or paying for expensive services housed inside a concrete and steel monolith, you're outta luck. No forests within walking distance, parks are occupied by homeless people and trash, and the “scenery” is a asphalt covered wasteland. If people couldn't drink, smoke, have coffee, and especially have TV and Internet, the West would go apeshit crazy. Now, there's not obvious solution to any of this. We can't go back to living of the land in the country, as it was poisoned, stripped of any useful resources and timber, and the water is full of microplastics. It's a touchy subject, but overpopulation has made everything miserable for everyone-if only people would stop fucking like jackrabbits, then we would have some space for ourselves.
Ah, nature! The great outdoors. When I was a lad, I would spend my free time wandering about in a magical forest, not conjured by my imagination, but on my N64 and playing as Link. Only recently did I realize that being near a tree is better for my mental health than any antidepressant. The less people know about the relaxing properties of nature, the less will stand up to Bolsonaro and the Koch brothers, who are trying their best to plunder, rape and strip it's beauty to the ground. That's why Meta is going to be a disaster for the human race, because it will allow the commonfolk, who are mostly concered with just getting by as is, another method of escape. No-one will notice our downfall, and well all be like babies getting fat off the Zucks VR cash cow . So, remember folks. Remember to buy your plastic wrapped “food”, enjoy the new dispensaries opening in your state, and grab that 6 pack IPA. And it's your patriotic duty to put down a 24 month lease on a Chevy you can't afford, so for one moment you can block out the fact that you have a below average sized member. All hail to our benevolent Congressmen who take bribes to ensure that Big Oil is still in charge, so we can enjoy our national pastime of sitting in traffic. And all hail “America” our count-er, I mean country of the free.