I took a job at a small law firm a few months ago. I had never done anything like that before. It is such a far cry from the service industry and the kitchens and the artwork and working outside with trees that I used to do.
I needed a job very badly and this job was on the table. Reception. I said yes. There were some immediate red flags. They wanted me to work a month for $12/hr full time as a trial period. The first day I met my office manager, which was my second day of work, the first words out of her mouth were a barking criticism about how I didn’t do something right — on the first day which she was gone for. I literally said “hello it’s great to meet you!” and she barked “You didn’t transcribe the voicemails!” Their communication has been horrible. I constantly am left out of the loop. Yesterday, I posted here that they told us to enjoy the Juneteenth weekend and then they redacted that, saying we are working Monday.
They gave me a raise after my first month. I have now been there for a total of three months and I am barely making it with my rent and bills. I will never be able to save a penny. I have no family and no money in the bank. I had thought I’d go back to school but I don’t think it is realistic.
I’ve been feeling the soul crushing monotony and the financial issues pushing down on me. I put out a couple resumes yesterday for part time gigs that would make me the same amount of money in 3 days of work each week. I’d be able to continue being a freelance artist and cook if I did that. Things I thought I had to leave behind. Things I’ve trained my whole life for.
I woke up terrified I would leave a “safe little office job.” But, during the last bump in covid cases, my manager came in audibly sick and coughing and sharing my phone etc., and she rolled her eyes when I asked if she had gotten a covid test.
Oh. Did I mention no benefits? And I’ve used up all my vacation days to work freelance jobs to supplement my income.
I just feel crazy for switching jobs again at my age (40) and I guess I’m looking for validation. Commiseration. I don’t know. Thanks for reading.