Starting to hate how toxic my job is. The only thing that is making me want to leave is my coworkers. Recently got a raise & was told I do a good job. Its my coworkers who make it hard for me (both direct and indirect coworkers)
I’m the youngest here and I’m autistic. Everyone else is in their late 20’s – late 40’s and neurotypical (for the most part). Already having a hard time getting along as it is, but differences make it harder.
It was great the first few months, everyone getting along just fine. But overtime, there’s issues arising between certain people and then cliques form and people trying to get me involved. I usually just stay neutral but for some reason that’s a bad thing and people are hating me for staying neutral in these situations.
I usually keep to myself, I do my job, even the part people hate doing. Try my best to keep the place tidy throughout the day and the openers for the next day.
I say Goodmorning / Goodbye, drive safe. Occasionally will buy coffees/teas for the Team, lunches, etc. But I’ve been holding back doing that stuff more and more, including long conversations, because of all the drama. “Omg they bought coffee for (person I dislike here) they’re so weird” and I don’t want to deal with that anymore.
Maybe it’s my fault people don’t like me because I don’t talk as much as I used to, but how can I talk when everyone is constantly doing “he said she said” and spreading others peoples business etc? I want to talk about my weekend and some cool new things I bought, I don’t want to talk about how A certain coworker has a supposed attitude problem or hear trash-talk about what they do in their personal time. Plus, why would I even tell them anything about myself now if they’re judging each other behind their back.
Not to mention, they’re even started to judge me. I quit veiling my head and I quit eating at work because they wouldn’t stop bothering me about it. It wasn’t even behind my back either, they literally would tell me what they were thinking. I feel bad for not veiling anymore at work but it shut them up and don’t want to deal with negativity.
I haven’t told my manager because I don’t want to make problems worse. Plus, they’re not physically at my job-site so :/
Sorry for my ramblings. I’m just frustrated and In all honesty, I feel like I’m being bullied because I’m somewhat passive & im the youngest here, I used to stand out because of my head covering and my interests (as they call my interests “weird and quirky”, which I don’t share anymore). If my coworkers goal is to get me to quit, it’s working because I’m looking for the next job. $18 an hour isn’t worth my mental health. I feel like I’m gonna have a breakdown soon.
My options are to stay until December (when college semester ends, since my job pays for my college) or I unenroll into college classes, stay for another month or two to gather money and try to find a job in the next month. Not sure what to do but I don’t want to stay here much longer.